Well...whatever!

I was chatting with my friend on the phone, gossiping about the guy we drooled over,when the doorbell rang.

God stood at the door, unsmiling but not rude.I was surprised by His sudden appearance, and quite forgot that my ear was still glued to the phone.I made a quick recovery though, told my friend that I would call her back, and turned to God- who had stood patiently at the door throughout my lost-and-recovery stage.

"Oh,it's you. Haven't seen you around in a long time. What's up? Come on in!" I said half-heartedly as I gestured Him to come in. God stepped in and looked at me.

"Thank you for letting me in. I thought you wouldn't even let me inside the house now that you don't let me inside your mind". Ah,the direct jabs - nothing had changed!

"You know it's not true. I do remember you. Why do you always have to do this drama I don't understand", I tried to turn the tables at Him,but deep inside I knew what He said was true.

God guffawed loudly "The only time you remember me is when I don't give you something you wished for. The rest of times you behave as if whatever happened was coincidence".

I looked on uncomfortably,knowing fully well that I couldn't possibly lie to God. I sighed and told Him " Well yeah. True. Anyway everything is science. All the religious stuffs are all lies. Just to fool the gullible. We don't need no God. Even you're a figment of my imagination!"

I knew I was harsh. After all even figments of imagination need to be dealt with kindly.

" And that's all you've thought of me after all this time we spoke?" He said in the most dramatic way. Sigh! He was behaving like a possessive boyfriend!

" No, not really...." I tried to do damage control

" It's all right my child. It is indeed difficult for faith to sustain in these times. Only the valiant and the determined can have faith that can withstand the test of times.Cliched, I know", He smiled kindly at me.

I felt bad. An inexplicable feeling of anxiety engulfed me. Like I am about to lose something precious forever.

I suppose God sensed my feelings. He smiled wider, almost grinned and said " So you're extending your membership with the believer's club right? Good. I can now continue to play games in my new phone. Meanwhile, I'll drop in to say hello sometimes. Ciao"

I gaped at Him in wonder,while he fished out his mobile,plopped onto the sofa and started playing games.

Incurable.

The Feminism? (Milder version!)

"Hey you should leave the seat right now!" shouted a woman so loudly that everyone nearly jumped for a moment.The lady in question had her eyes fixed on the guy who had managed to grab a seat but unfortunately,the seat was a 'ladies seat' , which is a common site in all city buses in the metros in India. The guy mumbled something like "having fever, please" and really looked ill. The woman shook her head and said more loudly this time "ladies seat pa,yendri" (get up,its the ladies seat).The man looked at the conductor-who had come up seeing the commotion- for some support.But all he got was the conductor throwing up his hands in air to show helplessness and told him to find another seat.The man finally gave up and the woman had finally won the who-grabs-the-ladies-seat contest.

Let me analyse the woman now.

Educated? She's texting away on her Samsung phone. Check.
Working? She's got a Tupperware lunchbag. Check.

No, I am not interested in whether she's married or not by the way, but I do recall she got on the bus from a place which had an IT company right next to it. I can imagine this woman proclaiming she's a feminist and look at men with a "you rapist!" kinda look.Stereotyping, I know. But the thing about stereotypes is that they're unfortunately been true at some point of time.

So,where is the feminism? What is it teaching? That men are lesser beings and women are the sole goddess and nurturer and all those fancy words? That women are strong yet need that special ladies seat in the bus to rest their tired legs?

Duh.Please, give me a break. Let me be clear for once.

Feminism is about equality. Not about female superiority.

Equal pay for equal jobs? Great! Then why no paternity leaves like maternity leaves?
Equal job opportunities? Awesome! Why then there can't be more househusbands?
Equal education? I agree! Then why lesser fees for girls?

Honestly,being a woman myself, I obviously would not go on a war against my own gender. But please! There's nothing special for being either gender (only difference being the X chromosome, which actually makes all the difference!). So, there is no god gifted special power in my hands that would magically turn all dishes tasty, nor is a man the ultimate protector/saviour/whatever of women.

To be more philosophical, its all in the mind.Deal with it!

P.S : The man got another empty seat, the woman in the bus got down in the next stop, and I took that seat ;)

Hasn't your mother taught you anything?

In a popular women's magazine, I came across this question in response to a query raised in one of it's agony aunt type columns : Hasn't your mother taught you anything?

Whoa! Now THAT's weird! Essentially the lady wished to know how could she best manage home and work since she doesn't find time after a hard day at work and the house remains a mess or she isn't able to cook a lot of stuffs and her dear hubby also gets angry since he wishes to invite his friends over.

And in response she's asked (not even in a subtle manner) that whether her mother has not taught her anything regarding household work.

What.The.Hell

Yes,its imperative people dig into upbringing and environment ; but the question was simple : tips on how to manage job and work?
The answer can include getting help from the husband (which wasn't mentioned at all), knowing easy-to-make recipes,hiring a maid (as simple as that!) and so on.

But the response had me rattled.

Why do we get into personal comments about people whom we haven't met or are not close with?
Also, why we still presume all the girls should be brought up to be ideal wives and daughter-in-laws ; while it is assumed that a man would be the bread-winner for the family?Why can't we steer clear of stereotypes? Why can't we accept  stay-at-home dads or  career oriented women without much fuss?

In this case,what does it have to do if her mother taught her anything or not?! Perhaps she wanted her daughter to be able to earn so that she's financially secured and stands on her own in the society !(Not knowing the same society still measures a woman's success on her homemaking skills alone)

Heck! Why do we even need to bother about other people's decisions at all?Are you going to suffer from stomach cancer if your neighbour is a stay-at-home dad and the wife is the CEO of a company? No,right?

Lets all try not to judge people (see? Am not judging the person who gave that advise :-D) and instead just focus on the situation at hand.We've got more important works to do rather than judging people and giving them unnecessary and outrageous advice, don't we?

Cheers!
Have a breezy week ahead! :-)

Be like the Bee!

A honey bee,while on its quest to get its nectar to make honey,does two jobs - get the nectar,and help in cross pollination of flowers.

When nature itself has examples of peaceful coexistence,then shouldn't we,as the evolved "intelligent" race,introspect our lives too?

Imagine a big house where you live alone. A big car you drive on your own.
Exotic cuisine no one to explore with.
Loneliness being a friend is a myth.

The purpose of our lives is fulfilled when we help others directly or indirectly.What goes around,comes around. This I learnt in a short story by Enid Blyton in which one person does a good deed to another and tells him or her to " pass it on". This cycle of good deeds eventually reach back to the person ( a small kid) who started this chain! ( thank you Enid Blyton for your meaningful bedtime stories!! )

How do we incorporate that in our lives?
See that old lady afraid to cross the road?Take her hand and help her cross.See the small boy unable to reach a favourite biscuit packet in the supermarket? Just take that packet and hand it to him with a smile.See that man struggling with loads of bags with him? Help him out.See that unhappy acquaintance? Listen to her woes sincerely and offer support.

Be like the honey bee. Help others. Spread smiles!You'll not only find the honey of happiness,you'll also find the smiling flowers you've helped to blossom :-)

Cheers! Have a smiling week ahead!!
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

Being a Bad Friend

Okay! So this has been in my mind for many months now,but I had been delaying it purposely.After all,admitting you're a bad friend is a difficult thing to do!

Yes,am a bad friend.Like really a bad friend.And that's the reason why I hate Facebook too.I guess I show signs of the Facebook Syndrome when I say how much I yearn to have friends who would dedicate a Status,put up my pic with them,or just put up some quirky status for me....No no please don't do those now!

The point is,I am a terrible friend.I already said that,right? Going down the memory lane,I miss so many of my friends.Unfortunately am one of those silent sufferers who put up a facade of "Oh I don't care!" but deep down,the memories of a friendship haunt me,making me painfully miss my friends and those "good" times.

Have I tried to be in contact? Tried to plan some outing of sorts?Some get-together?Movie?Gossip session?I guess the answer is no.Sigh.

Maybe they don't even think about me.Oh,thats the harder part.To accept that they've moved on.How'll I go on about pulling them unwillingly to the days-that-were mode when they're like "Yeah it was.So?"

But I do remember birthdays.It's the wishing that I don't do.

Am behaving like a person out of a newly broken up relationship,ain't I?

Well,Friendship is important.To me at least.But unfortunately my vocal chords go on a holiday whenever I wish to express that "You're my friend! I always cherish your friendship!"

Oh well,time to move on for me too I guess.All this rant would do me no-good.

Wait a minute.Hey! That's an old friend of mine.She's sent a friend request! You think she remembered me,that's why send a request? Or just a random act of adding someone she knows?

That's anybody's guess!

Cheers...Have a happy month ahead!

Life after marriage

Before you jump into any conclusions regarding the title,let me assure you that yes,its meant purely for seeking attention and no, I haven't got married yet. 

Marriage is an important phase of our lives. Specially in India,where marriage is one big occasion and much hullabaloo surrounds it,marriage ceases to remain what it actually is- bonding of two people.Its so complex that everyone has just accepted it in its current and simple forms-rituals,gifts,the expectations from the bride/groom, and in some cases,dowry.But look beyond that,its just the lifelong sharing of companionship for two people,bonded in friendship and complete acceptance of each other.But is it always really just the two people?

I am digressing from what I intend to share.And that is about marriage.Not mine; but my brother's.

Am sure I'll be too happy when he gets married to whoever he likes.And thats around a year or so away,or maybe more.Just a year or so away.

I was talking to my mother about my...well...apprehensions.My brother getting married? That means he'll no longer tease me or make fun of me or irritate me? No more physical fights (OK don't worry,those are mild ones)? No more fighting about who would be driving the car? No more passing around food items to him since I can't eat more of it?No more fighting for the TV? No more laughing together at silly things?No more of his grave advices which I don't understand at all?No more verbal altercations?

My mom was surprised as I kept on asking more of such irrelevant questions.And she didn't really know how to tackle them.All she said was "We're sharing it all with a new family member na?Why are you worrying?"

I still wasn't convinced.Then my mom said "Imagine in future your husband has a sister and she also thinks like you do now,won't you be hurt?"

Of course,since my brother would be getting married first I hadn't thought about my own marriage.But that got me thinking.She had a point.

And after lots and lots of thinking,I got to understand one cliche .Nothing is life remains as it is.Niether the tangible things like house,cars or mementoes nor the intangible ones like relationships,phases and memories.All I have to do is cherish the memories,not bind it with me or try to recreate the same.It can't be done at all :)

So,I guess I should welcome the new bride (whoever he chooses),and make her feel at home in our eccentric but loving family.

I hopped upon happily with this thought,till my brother pulled my plait.

And then,a fight ensued.

God and me...talk about inequality!

"I hate you God",I grumbled.

"What's your complaint now?",God asked lightly,enjoying His cold coffee topped with chocolate ice cream.

"Why did you create women to serve men? Can't it be other way round? Don't women have any identity?Don't women deserve some care and respect?"

"What? When did I say women are born to serve men?",He asked,mildly surprised but still not leaving His cold coffee.

"The scriptures say so.Some sage has said that that's how God willed the Earth to be.With men being in command and women feeling lucky to be able to serve them.",I was almost fuming now,ready to pour out my temper.

"Hold on now,don't say like that.Let me just recollect about what happened millenia ago.....ya now I get it! Ha! See,I'll share this video with you,and you judge based on that about who did what,okay?",God handed me His super-phone to view the video.

***

Adam and Eve are resting in some garden.Adam turns to Eve and says "Hey! I don't think we can survive on fruits whole year.These take time to grow.I saw some funny looking white seeds that seems edible enough to eat.We'll try boiling them in water to clean them.I'll pick those up and we'll give it a try.What do you think?"

"You read my mind so well! I was going to seek your opinion about the same!"

Adam smiles,"Am so lucky to have you,you and I think on the same lines"

The next day,Adam is busy collecting the 'white seeds' and Eve fills water and boils it.Adam had to travel to and fro to the fields and back since he had no bag or sack to collect the white seeds.Meanwhile,Eve removed the chaffs as they seemed to taste bitter and but the seeds one by one onto the boiling water.

The seeds did seem edible but there was still some more exploration to be done.

Adam lay down beside Eve,tired, and asked her if she could massage his legs.Eve happily did it,after which a grateful Adam offered to massage Eve's neck which was aching after all the bending over the boiling water.

They found the correct way to cook rice,and taught that to their children too.

The clan grew and grew.It was established that the women will stay at home and cook,while the men bring in the raw materials.And women shall serve their partners while the men take rest.

The great-great-great-great-granddaughter of Adam and Eve once opined,"I want to go out hunting too"

Her brothers laughed,and told her to stay at home and cook.

"But why?"

"That's what your great-great-great grandmother did!",they replied in chorus.

***

I was still trying to get the meaning of the video,while God was happily licking off the cream from the glass.

"So what does this mean? Does that give you the right to write inscriptions that say women are nothing but servants for looking after home?"

God sighed."You spoiled the positive after effects of having a cold coffee.My dear Ms. Ignorant,did I write the inscriptions?"

"Well I guess you authorised some human to write",I said,feeling a little less confident.

"Then you see,thats how human beings are.They don't want to change.They like the order that has been set for them since ages to remain intact.They don't like confrontations.They don't like to try something new with each generation.They don't want to do anything else!"

"But then what is the difference between humans and donkeys?",I asked,confused.

God grinned."It's not enough to be born human.You have to prove that you are one!"

And He went off to get a blackcurrant milkshake.

P.S: 

No disregard or disrespect towards Adam and Eve.Or donkeys.Just a tiny attempt at trying to reconstruct the events based on my thoughts.

We don't know if it's right when we say women have been made to serve men since time immemorial.It can be that as the society 'progressed',the relationship between men and women became unequal,creating more of a Master and Slave,instead of having love and respect.

So let me assume that it all started fine,but somewhere in the middle,it got tangled into the monotonicity of "the tried and tested" scenario.

Do think about it once :)

Cheers! Have a happy week ahead!