And I Died As Me....

I was lying on the road,bruised and broken,
I was breathing slowly,I was so shaken,
Somewhere nearby,a child's cry pierced like a whiplash,
But,it was going to live,it was saved from the crash....

"You can't do that",someone had told me at school,
"You can't do anything right,you are a fool"
The little kid that I was,I was taken aback,
And since then,confidence I had always lacked...

"Call the ambulance!" someone screamed by my side,
Someone dabbed my wounds that had split wide,
"You are going to live",someone tried to assure me,
And with that,I returned to my reverie of memories...

"Why you are like this?"my teacher had asked,when I was young,
"Why can't you be like someone else?"and the question had stung,
And since then,I buried my identity,
And always tried to be the person others wanted me to be...

"You will live!" the cry was hysteric,
The blood was so much,it could make anyone sick,
I didn't want to die,Oh Lord forgive me for my sins,
I would never again be myself,but forgive me for the time as this....

"Don't try,its no use,the vehicle is too fast!"someone had shouted,
When I had plunged into the traffic,and saving the child I had intended,
And then pushed the child off the road and away from the traffic,
It was too late when I realized I myself was hit...

All that pain,all the words,came flooding back,
They made me realize of all the things I had lacked,
But suddenly,the pain was gone,I felt peaceful and free,
When finally my heart stopped,I was smiling...I was happy that I died as me....

All I need is....You

I never said,I never expressed,
Every emotion I suppressed,
I tried to show I can live without you,
But all I need is you...

I turn away from you,not wanting to look into your eyes,
They can see that I am telling you lies,
I laugh,I smile,I seem happy to every person I am talking to,
But deep down inside,all I need is you....

I hate it when you say you love me,
I hate it when you say our friendship is for eternity,
I was proud as I thought I needed no one to see life through,
But now I say,all I need is you...

I don't want to see that you are worried for me,
I don't want you to know what you mean to me,
Its all pride, and its all ego,
But put them aside,all I need is you...

I hate you when you don't listen,
I hate you when you don't say anything,
I hate you when you say the only person who knows everything about me is you...
But,I need you.

Don't be hurt by my silence,I am a wounded soul,
Don't try to heal me,I would strike back with words too hurtful,
Don't push me to be smiling forcefully when instead tears would flow
Just keep this in mind,I need you....

Journeys...

Have you ever travelled to Tawang in Arunachal Pradesh? It takes two days to travel from Guwahati to Bomdila and then to Tawang.Its nearly on the border between India and China (forgive me if I am wrong...I used to sleep during the geography classes :P).
Well,the sights are wonderful...but at times one gets disillusioned...is this the only road to reach that place? One landslide or one heavy snowfall can cut-off that town from the rest of the country!

When you are on your way to Tawang through thick forest and hardly any life,abruptly at some place pops up a temple and a little shop beside it.In the middle of the jungle.You can't help but wonder about the priest in there and the shopkeeper.As always,one gives the simplest explanation:"They are used to it".

Again,at the point where the grassy cover abruptly gives way to snow,you find a little shop where they make tea and have a large stock of Maggi Noodles! Cold wind,cold weather,snow all around and then hot Maggi and tea!!

Seriously,thats one trip that I would like to undertake.Not to see the "Madhuri Lake"(Supposedly the lake where some song was shot for the movie Koyla starring SRK and Madhuri Dixit :P)...nor for the snow-snow all around...but for the long travel through 2 states..Assam and Arunachal Pradesh...which still reminds me of the pretty narrow roads across mountains...where one wrong turn would take us down,and one landslide would take us up.

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Have you ever travelled to Panipat in Haryana? From Delhi.Its not really any spectacular place...but again,the journey from Delhi to Panipat is pretty much enjoyable...for me at least.Thats where my home is.:)

Imagine travelling in peak winter afternoon (when its cold in delhi although theres a warm sun).
And as you go on and on,see the fields covered in a misty haze,the smell of winter air,and in the middle of that,the smell of hot aloo parantha with fresh makhan on top it when you stop by at a Dhaba....too good!

In summers,you would see Sunflowers smiling at the sun,and Sarso(I don't know what to call it in English :( ) and dusty roads...still,its lovable!

Out of nowhere pop up some villages,buffaloes,dhabas etc etc...and one would be glued to the window!

I always love going to Panipat...it signifies going home!:)

From Panipat,its the road to Kurukshetra thats pretty cool.Huge trees lined up on either sides,a smooth road...as if someone is making you relax!

Beyond Kurukshetra,you get to go to Ambala then Chandigarh,and though their roads are pretty good too...still,my favourite remains Delhi-Panipat-Kurukshetra.:)

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Have you been to Shillong in Meghalaya? Its a cool town-city....at some place where anyone would have denied that life existed.Tilted roads,overcrowding vehicles in narrow lanes...really...fabulous!

More than that,its the journey to Cherrapunji from Shillong.The road seems to stretch on and on,and the mountains seem to look upon you with curiousity.Higher and higher,you go on,until you see the clouds on the roads and your vehicle zooming past them:Thats indication enough that you have arrived at the world's most wettest place.The clouds had covered the whole view of the Seven Sisters' Falls...and just as we were about to turn back,the curtain drew back and we could see the (more than)Seven-Sister's Falls! Spectacular View.

As you go on,you would see little-big houses,and you can't help but wonder and envy the people living in them...they are lucky in a way...they've got their own world...

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Have you travelled to Pondicherry? Well I don't really remember much of it,but I do remember a road running parallel to the seaside.And the sea looks pretty inviting too! :).
Once in Pondicherry,you wonder you are really in India or not.Seriously,the streets look different..in fact...most of the things look a bit different! Houses,buildings,roads..etc etc!

Its one journey where I found the sea by my side...just one stop and one can run to the beaches! :)

And in all of these trips,its the journey that has enthralled me always......
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Roads.
They teach loads of things,right?
The mysterious roads to Tawang seem to tell about life...where at times one has no other option but to follow one path.It can be dangerous,but if we are steady enough and catch hold of ourselves from falling over,we get what we want (Like the Maggi Noodles! :) )
They also tell us to go on,through twists and turns and scary phases....and not to stop!

I don't know what the roads to-and-fro Panipat tell...but let me put it to diversifying our lives.(Well,because there are 3 lanes on either side! :D)

The roads to-and-fro Shillong-Cherrapunji tell about those times in life where going further just when we thought everything was over can change our lives around.(I don't know why,but it seems so to my Head office..like the clouds whispered to me to go further.)

The Pondicherry roads tell about taking a break at times in life...and enjoy the seaside view!

So what other roads tell about? I don't know...most roads are pretty arrogant and don't talk much...it shows in their loopholes! :P

P.S:

1.There are other roads which I would love to mention too....but I can't find the words for them.
I'll surely write about them too(when I get the words;for now,the words are flying :P)!
You also tell about the roads/trips which have remained in your heart and why?

2.If you are confused whether I was talking about the roads or the journey...then...well journey takes place on roads...right? :D

Cheers!
Have a happy and smiling week ahead! :)

I guess I should not write anymore...huh??

Nope.I don't have anything to write.

But I do feel like writing!(Err..to be precise,typing)

But why should I write just to see something-like-an-essay types thing on my computer screen?

Why should I catch hold of buzzing thoughts (buzzing like flies indeed) and hold them till I type out something about them and then let go of them?("Them" means thoughts).

Why should I struggle to keep awake when I could be happily dozing off...

Why do you like to read whatever I type {Err...Is that right?}(But you always follow the No-Comments mode,of course!)

I'll tell you why...Because I don't know!(HeeHee)

I guess almost every human being has the tendency or desire to share things.Its like talking about or writing about some things makes them easier to handle!

Hey seriously! When you are travelling in a train,for example,the person sitting near you starts a conversation(Or you start),and it goes on and on...and you find that you had talked more than necessary.
Or even while standing in a queue..."The climate is becoming inbearable,isn't it?"
Or outside an entrance exam centre..."My son is appearing for the exam.We came all the way from XYZ for this exam...You also don't look like natives of this place,am I right?"
Or while waiting for the bus.."Whats the time?Oh! Its so late ?The bus should've been here at this time! They just pluck money and give us no service,don't you think so?"

And it goes on.

So some sort of a bond (Not James Bond or Ionic Bond or Covalent Bond) is formed...which can be easily formed,and which when broken doesn't really give much pain....ain't it?We just want to talk to someone,we can't isolate ourselves.But out of nowhere,these people sometimes come into our thoughts and we wonder about them...ain't it?

Huh...but why I am telling you all this? I am sure you won't think about what I said anyway (Boooohooooo).

As I said earlier...I am not writing anymore.

P.S:
Wait for my next post :P

All my fate!

Now we are going to connect the wires and see the result...yikes! The electricity is gone!

I am telling to a friend"For the past few days the clouds have all been just hovering overhead,but they don't rain...So it won't rain today also"
I suddenly found a tiny drop on my hand....and the next moment...it rained Rhinos and Elephants.

Sitting in the class,someone was saying "I hope ma'am doesn't ask us for our observation notebooks,I haven't completed it"
I,being the loudspeaker,said"Relax,today ma'am is absent.Even I haven't completed my observation"
The next moment,the "ma'am" appears out of nowhere and says "All of you,submit your observation notebooks,and those who haven't completed them,will be marked zero!"

One evening in the hostel,I told my roomies,"You go and eat.Today is Wednesday,the food won't be good,I don't feel like eating"
An hour later,they returned and said"You should've come,the food was good today.They changed the menu."

And at all these times(and other such times),I always found somebody giggling at my plight.Yeah,you got it...its The Almighty.

Seriously,nowadays I tell everyone something and add it with "Since I am SAYING it,it won't happen" and to negate THAT statement,whatever I say does happen.:P

Some people say things that actually turn out to be true...but yours' truly never listens to them,and those people give me "I-told-you-so" looks :P.

So all in all,whenever I think this is really going to happen,something unbelievable incident happens that ruins all my plans and I end up asking Him "Why,why only me?Can't you target someone else?"

And all I hear is more giggling.

Well does this happen to you all too? I mean this happens to me ALL the time...Does it happen that whatever you say never really happens??

Awaiting your answers...and if I am right,you all would reply.:P

Adieus!

P.S:
Please read the poem in my previous post.Arre yaar,it was a moment of Eureka when I got the idea for the poem :P

Cheers
Enoy your day

In a far desolate office,
Sat one lonely officer,
Who was suddenly summoned one day by his seniors,
To get feedback on the new project they had proposed...

The officer reached the other office,
Having fans that moved too slow and needed air themselves,
Tubelights that flickered and fumed at having to work,
And chairs that creaked at the slightest stress..

The officer was summoned in front of other similar officers,
Who looked tired and bored,
Who looked like men already tired of life,
And like those who wondered with dread what the future had in store..

"Ah,sit down" said an officer to our protagonist,
And as our officer sat down and handed out the project feedback,
The other officers hardly glanced at it,
But one said "Tell,has the project been successful?"

Our officer took a deep breath,and managed to fake a smile,
"Of course,your wonderful ideas on saving environment,
Have been very much effective,
And the actions taken have indeed been a great accomplishment..

Schools,colleges and offices,
Have all been given pamphlets asking them to plant trees,
They have also been told to not to use plastics,
And they all are indeed listening

School-going children and college students,
Are all enthusiastically studying Environmental Science,
And I am also happy to tell you that they all clear the exams,
Though they always fail in other subjects otherwise....

After studying the subjects,and seeing those pamphlets,
The citizens -young and old,
Have all changed their mindsets,
And use only dustbins to throw those very pamphlets!

And so I conclude,sir,
That our project has been successful,
And I am sure that our claim to save our environment,
Would now be nearly truthful!"

The other officers exchanged happy glances,
And they all nodded their heads,
"Your report is precise and clear officer",said one of the officers,
"You may now leave"

As our officer walked out,he couldn't help but think,
"What the hell am I doing?Doesn't anyone have sense?
How are we going to do any job like this?
Where we are afraid to tell the truth and hide behind a cloak of pretence?

What would children gain,reading books on environment,
When actually they should see,
Farmers struggling for water and some improvement,
In their parched lands...

What would students do?Writing exams and forgetting everything,
When they should hear the cries,
Of the literally-drowning-in-water polar bears,
Since the heat is melting away the caps of ice.."

The officer shook his head,and went on his way,
Dejected and disappointed and frustrated,
If only he had stayed a little longer,he would have other officers say,
"What a waste! We are hiring such fools to do this job?"

"What does he think,can one do with books and pamphlets,
Or exams and quizzes and fashion shows?
When the heat is rising,and so are the prices,
Really,what are we doing to ourselves by hiring such fellows?"




A note by the poster...err I mean the blogger!:P
(The title and the post has no Kismat Konnection :P)
Hmm...I am back!! I got my results,I am an 8-pointer! Wow! And I passed in maths too!(Refer to "In God we trust,Grumble we must" post for knowing the reason for the maths-mentioning!

I don't really know what I wish to convey through this poem(poem?) of mine..But in case anybody's sentiments are hurt (including the Polar bear's) I am sorry for that...but seriously..I think just conducting huge shows on "Save the planet"-having mutliple lights and loads of sounds-;or any great quizzes or presentation contests or seminars won't really help.

We got to,ought to,should,must,etc etc do our bit for making our planet a lot cooler.(Yo man! :P)

And for this I don't want to join any clubs,but what I do want you to do is join your eyelids with your eyeballs(I mean close your eyes) and think...do you like your place to be all metal and glass and artificial...or would you like it natural,green and cool?
(By the way,switching off lights when not in use and all such stuffs reduce your electricity bills!)


Cheers
Have a cool weekend!:)

Sometimes in life...

Sometimes in life,we have to let go,
Some memories...so that we live in the present,
Sometimes in life,we have to show,
Courage and sense when everything is falling apart...

Sometimes in life,we need to smile and be happy,
When inside our heart is breaking,
Sometimes in life,we need to forgive,
No matter how much someone is hurting...

Sometimes in life,we have to be strong and graceful,
To witness our own defeat,
Sometimes in life,we have to be gracious and humble,
Even when we have had our greatest win...

Sometimes in life,we need to open up and talk,
Even though all we need silence,
Sometimes in life,we must be quiet,
To convey our condolence...

Sometimes in life,our shoulders are needed for someone to cry,
When we ourselves have not been offered any solace,
And often in our lives ,we find ourselves alone,
And for all troubles,we have no option but to put up a brave face...

But always,we should be thankful and smile,
For all the things we have had in our life,
Because all our possessions stay with us only for a while,
But our true character remains with us night and day,come what may....

P.S:I guess its a bit of a sad set of rhymes...but I am feeling a bit down-down right now :(

Cheers
Have a happy week ahead! :)