Adjusting to adjustments

In every relationship, we need adjustments.No person is tailor-made for our nature and personality,because if its so,we would never learn and evolve.But then when does such adjustment become a problem?

They say "Take care of small things and the larger things will be taken care of".That's true.All big troubles begin from a small issue.Sometimes we adjust and don't let the issue become too big.Or sometimes we lose our temper and go on fighting.Something as small as "No,I can't do this work you gave me" can lead to a misunderstanding like "You don't care for me".

Personally,between me and my best friend,such fights happen a lot,inevitably because of me :-D.Yeah I admit,am a bit of a hot-head and immature. It's like I always feel "I do so much for her,she can't even come to the canteen with me".But then,for all the things she has done for me,she has had to bend (I mean metamorphic-ally).She's been there for me whenever (well,almost always) when I needed a friend.When she couldn't be there,God sent me someone else then :-).

I guess life would be simpler if we do try NOT to think.If you think,the problem starts to appear.I am happier now when am not thinking about balancing the equation with my friend.One of the verses from the Bhagwad Gita states that "We should do our work not just for the fruit(of the results)".So,if I stop pondering about who does what in the friendship,and just do whatever is in my capacity as a friend,I'll be happy.Isn't it?

Another point is that we often fail to accept the other person as he/she is.Like my best friend loves to be in a group of people (including me in the group too),while I would rather be alone with the person I like.That doesn't mean I hate the others! So sometimes my best friend abandons the big group to listen to my boring stuffs,while sometimes I join the gang and dance along :).It took me four years to actually accept the fact that my best friend loves being in a group:-D Before that it was always bitter fights and fights and fights....which eventually got sorted out when she would apologise :-D.

Its not just restricted to friendships.Parents adjust a lot for children.Its something that happens by default.If we don't budge for the other person,we're sure to lose him/her.What's wrong in adjusting anyway?If we do feel we're the only one adjusting always then we can gently mention that openly.But then,one should also keep in mind how much the other person is doing for us too.Isn't it?

P.S: College is almost over.Exams from next week.Not even a month left of my college life.And am rewinding the events (and non-events) of the past four years,and my mistakes appear to me in 3D.:-D.*Sigh*

Cheers! Keep smiling (Do have a reason to smile though)

Sporting issues

I have always wondered what is it about Cricket that casts a spell on almost every child?Or even adults?Is it because of the way it has been projected to be such a glorious and "patriotic" game? Why is there such a maddening rush of money (both black and white) for this game? Why there are so many many many technical jargon being blurted out to see if one ball touched the bat or not? Why has it ceased to be a sport and become something else?

I read an article in a news website about an archer who had to sell her bow worth Rs 4 lakhs, for a mere 50,000 bucks.That bow was gifted to her by her Korean coach,as he was impressed by her play.And she's not just another archer.She has won many accolades,even if not an Olympic medal.She had to sell it because she had to repair her mud house,and she had no money to do that.Will the government help her?She's still hopeful.

Agreed,there are many many players in cricket too who don't get their fifteen minutes of fame because of many factors.But then,we can't deny that cricket rules our country.Do we have analysis of a hockey match (even a match played in a World Cup),in any news channel,like the way Cricket matches are analysed? Do we really feel happy when any of our other sportsmen win?  Do we even know the names of the players of any of the other sportsmen?Why,we know the spouse's name of almost all the cricketers,don't we?

The problem is there is an overdose of cricket.Just now we'd have seen some Tri-series or Asia Cup or whatever,and then again almost immediately we'll be seeing the same men running behind a ball in another Series such as an IPL.Don't these guys deserve rest too? Don't other sports deserve some coverage too?

I don't have anything against cricket.But that doesn't mean we write off other sports if they don't give us the expected results-like tennis,for example.If there is no one to watch and cheer,obviously the drive to win lessens.All players-mostly-play for the country,but if the country is busy looking elsewhere,for whom would they play?

And its also a cliche that we've got bad infrastructure for other sports.But its true.Abhinav Bindra,as far as I've read,trained himself in some other country to achieve his feat.But still,we don't complain much about it and we somehow manage with whatever we have.With half hearted efforts,we get what we give-mediocre performance.

But there is still hope I suppose.One of my friends said that in his school,his sports coach doesn't allow his students to play cricket; he insists on other games instead.Of course,those other games don't have much infrastructure too,but then at least there is someone who refuses to go with the tide but encourages others to try other games too :-)

Hope in the future our country doesn't maintain its dubious distinction of being at the top in Cricket and non-existent in other sports :-)

Cheers...have a Happy Week ahead! :-) :-) :-)

Bidding adieu....

Yesterday,we had our farewell party,conducted by our juniors.Yeah,FAREWELL.Wait a minute,what year is it? 2012! Oh god! I came to college first in 2008.Seems the movie of my life has been set to fast forward and brought to 2012.Exaggeration? Well maybe,but I would still say I am surprised as to how time has flown by.


The earliest things I remember about my college is homesickness.Being away from home in an entirely different environment,I hated my college to the core,wanted to run away,disappear,but not face it.It took sometime before I accepted my fate over here.Then I actually started to love this place.


4 years.Just 4 years.Seems a small time.Seems a long time.So much happened in these four years.I said goodbye to my teens.I learnt not to cry for small things,instead learnt how to make others cry :-D.And yet,it feels I just entered college,and its the same day that my now-best-friend made me cry by asking me about my home :-D.Yeah,those tears of mine forged our friendship....eeeekkkssss! That sounds filmi :-D.

I also learnt to be proud of what I am,instead of lamenting about it.Everybody is unique...so am I :-).Learnt a lot of my own mother tongue, so much that my parents are amazed the way I speak now ;-).


Of course,I did learn some harsh lessons too.But lets not go to those...its a happy-happy post! And anyway,more than sad,I am happy about these four years.I don't want to be sad thinking about the baaaaaddddd things..life is too short to be bemoaning about bad things :)


Then finally,did I actually learn engineering? Well,one of the boys of my class has aptly stated in his facebook status,(well its just a gist of what he meant)
      "I don't know if we did learn engineering,but we did learn all other stuffs about life"


Okay,maybe his context of "all other stuffs" is different from mine..:-D but then,the basic feelings are there. :)


*Sigh* Still no tears from my eyes, yet.Maybe the real feeling hasn't hit me till now.Or maybe my college has also taught me not to cry about things not in my control.(Well thats a bit too much I know,but felt like saying it :-D)


I don't know if I am happy about how I changed from the person I was to what I am now(thanks to my college :-D).But,am happy about my life in these 3 and a half years.(Coz intial half year was spent on cursing this place :-D)


Okay I'll spare you from the infinite loop my post is moving in about the same old feelings of being lost and being found,and just go and do my work.:-D


P.S:
The farewell was awesome! The juniors got the lecturers to speak about the seniors (i.e,us),and they obviously spoke good things about our batch....I suspect they were cajoled to do so :-D.And of course,the photo sessions! Yippeee!!!! Instead of feeling bad about our last day,we,as always,were enjoying ourselves.:-D


Cheers to my batch of engineering degree :)


*God is looking down at me with an amused smile*

When journey meant more than destination

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 25; the Silver Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The topic for this month is 'When Journey Meant More Than Destination'.

"Madam,we're here",announced the chauffeur politely,
the woman sitting at the back was startled slightly,
For a moment,she wasn't sure where she was,
it was her office,her empire,she realised at last...


She should've been proud,but she was not in the least,
She felt guilty- with an uncertainty,an unease,
She couldn't understand why she felt no sense of belonging,
for something that was rightfully hers in every meaning...


An ordinary woman she was,a few years back,
With simple dreams and ambitions which everyone has,
She felt fortunate to be in love with the man of her dreams,
she couldn't be more happier, it seemed...


Fate had other plans for her,when she had to let go,
of the man for whom she had such infinite love,
she was devastated,to say the least,when for no reason,
she was thrown out of her job,favoring some undeserving person,


Anger and grief make a dangerous combination,
They kill all sense,judgement,and reason,
Drowned in grief and boiling with rage,
She plunged into making it big in her own way...


She refused to lie low,and die a slow death,
The grief and the humiliation she had felt,she couldn't forget,
From then on,began a ruthlessly mad chase,
For being the most successful in the corporate race...


She ceased to think anything,shutting out her mind against the world,
Emotions no longer existed,she kept her heart in iron control,
The only feeling she faced was of fear,a strange irrational one,
The fear of losing this fearlessness,this madness that kept her sane...


Fighting her way up the ladder,in an enviously short time,
She was where she wanted,she was at her prime,
But why does she hear something in her mind,that she doesn't want to listen,
A voice that says its all wrong,she is doing this for all the no reasons...


This journey from rags to riches,does it really matter?
Her wealth and fame,even if it does flatter,
Is she happy?Why she is still not satisfied?,
What her eyes depict a loneliness,which she tries to hide?


It dawns on her that all this while,she'd just wanted to escape,
From the emotions,that kept her bounded and caged,
she wanted to be free,free from her pain,
and that's when she knew,she'd never be the same again....


"Madam",the chauffeur calls out softly,a little perplexed,
she shakes her head and looks at what she created,
Her company,her work,her fame,her escape loneliness,
she sighs and gets off,wondering what'll fill this emptiness....

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Thoughtful and still thinking :)

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference"
-"The road not taken",Robert Frost


For the past few days these words have been buzzing around my head,making a lot of noise.Maybe its because in a month or two my college life will end,so I am trying to rewind the moments of my life just till the time I gave my last exam of school.What if things would've been different?What if I had scored a lot in JEE?What if I had got a better rank in AIEEE?And other entrance exams?What if I had stood my ground and fought with my parents not to send me to Chennai?What if......*Sigh*.Its all useless now,isn't it?Because,much like a woman resignedly accepts loving her husband despite his flaws,I've fallen in love with this city despite trying so stubbornly to hate it:)


But it remains to be seen if the city has loved me back too.I may have to pack my bags and be a gypsy and go wherever work takes me,while this city would still be standing,waiting for another person like me to come.Or would it care?


The words by the poet still keep haunting me.




P.S:
Hello people who are still here reading this :) The year before had been eventful.Setbacks,despair,hope,getting employed(in TCS,campus recruitment),getting sick,feeling positive,feeling grown up(my b'day was on 12th Feb :D)....and well an amalgamation of many other things :)
I am surprised that 4 years have brought out such neat transformations that I didn't even realise when and how I changed.For proof,you can go through few of my initial posts when I first ventured into blogging :)


*Amused smile*.


Cheers...Have a happy weekend!:):):)

God and me....after the break

"Are you there?"
"Well,I am always available in Gtalk,but sometimes invisible in Yahoo",said God,appearing out of nowhere from smoke,with a large grin on his face."How come you remembered me after so many years?".Sigh!God and his exaggeration!

In a low voice,I said,"Well,I was just thinking how You were always there for me whenever I needed you,but then suddenly,there came an invisible gap between us.Felt like talking to You today".

"Wow!! Am so lucky you remembered me....I guess I'll grant everybody's wishes today since its my lucky day!",He said,guffawing loudly.

"Can you please be serious?",I glared at Him till He stopped laughing.

"Okay okay...tell me what is there in your heart then",He smiled His gentle smile :-)

I sighed heavily,and went on,"I missed you so much.I don't know why all these days I didn't call you when I felt alone,didn't believe in you when I should have,didn't think of you as a friend,but instead thought of you as a mere punisher,thought you're there to punish me for every single thought I think,thought you'll trouble me if I do something right,thought you'll avenge if I did something wrong,and above all,thought you hate me."

I looked up,expecting a hurt expression on His face,but all I saw was a big smile,with eyes full of tenderness and care.

"I am sorry.",I said,my eyes brimming up with tears.

"Oh its all right.Better late than never.Well,I don't hate you.I don't hate anybody-because I am supposed to be God.Neither do I keep a track of whatever you do to keep on punishing you.Its your own deeds that decide what you get.I am a mere freelancing being-I am here,there,everywhere! Its just that people don't realize my presence until something bad happens.I am forgotten the moment I help them wriggle out of the problem.*sigh*.Its okay,I don't mind.After all,I am too busy!",He said,grinning.

"So,you're not angry with me then?",I asked,trying hard not to show my relief.

"No",He said,smiling.

"Good.Because I am angry.Just because I didn't call you,that doesn't mean you also don't come to me!I trusted you so much! You're just throwing problems after problems on me! Am I a human being or what?Why didn't you come to see me when I needed you the most? Why don't you help me face the problems?Why do you always target me?Why...",I rambled on and on.

When I paused to catch my breath,God had disappeared,with the smoke pollution still present in the  room.Huh.So much for all that lecture about "I am always there".:-|

"Do" Vs "Don't Do"

Since our childhood,we're told about a lot of stuffs that we shouldn't do,speak,listen,eat,question and so on.But how many of us really follow those?

Its human nature to do the very act which has been prohibited.Really.The "Don't go out in the rain" is far more effective in triggering a reverse response(that is,you would go out in the rain) than "Stay at home".

A negative statement never gives the result."don't walk fast","don't be lazy","don't forget" ,all give a problem,but not the solution.They don't motivate us to do something.Whats the harm in walking fast?What should I be doing?Why shouldn't I forget?.These statements don't come to your mind by themselves....its just that the brain reacts more to positivity than negativity.You like being around a cheerful,encouraging and amiable person or rude,discouraging person?

When you say "I've to get up early" instead of "I must not wake up late"...you're sure to wake up early.A "I should be more active" instead of "I shouldn't be lazy" is far more effective.Even for small children,if you notice,they respond better to "put the paper down" in place of "don't tear the paper".Yeah I did try that.:)

So you see,our brain cells or neurons or whatever respond better to positive sentences.When there is a negative sentence,the brain has to perform the act and then negate the result.Don't get it?
Consider when you say "Don't throw the ball" to a small child.He will first have to understand what is "throw the ball",and then he will think and act on "DON'T throw the ball".

If you say "hold the ball",the child will not let go of the ball because its a simple statement.

Of course,for the adults,our brains are fast enough to understand the "don't"....and we sometimes purposely neglect it for our own convenience. ;)

So, DO be careful when you use the DOs and DON'Ts with anybody,including yourself :)

P.S: Found the info in a forwarded mail which I received.:)

Cheers,
Have a Happy Week Ahead :)