"No dear,you don't have the required grace for the dance we need for cultural programs.Please don't mind,but we can't select you for dance".The lecturer ma'am looked so sorry to see me go,as if she knew me by my name.I smiled a deadly smile.That doesn't mean was smile was beautiful.It means I wished she was dead.
Huh.I am depressed.Yes.I have a great interest in dance.And since childhood my name has been associated with only one extracurricular activity-dance.And now in college this lady who herself doesn't know how to dance is telling me I lack the grace???
To top it all,like adding salts to the wound,my room-mate akka(didi) has got a chance to compete in the program.That is tomorrow.I am so jealous.Urgh!
I am feeling worst about myself currently.My confidence has punctured.Come to think of it,my confidence nowadays mostly remains low.Its not only because of dance or something.Nothing I do pleases me,my thoughts are going haywire.But life is rushing on!
Can't it pause for a minute?There is so much in my head going on....I can't think anything right! Maybe thats why I have been absent from my own blog.Not that many people would've missed me anyway.
Theres so many things I want to tell.So many poems,articles,feelings etc etc..but somehow they aren't just flowing out of my head.They are stuck in some thought pipe.
And is there any right way of doing something? I am tired of people telling me that whatever I am thinking is wrong wrong wrong.To hell with everyone else.I think only this way.I can't change myself.
They say everything happens for the good,have patience.I am still waiting.
P.S:
The purpose of this post was nothing great.Its just some venting out of pent up emotions.
Cheers.
Have a happy week and weekend.
Care to listen to some stupid advice? Well, whether you dance tomorrow or nor, will it anyway change your passion for dance? You really think that teacher has ANY right to even think about how good you can dance? You are kick ass! Get enrolled with a good dancer outside and invite your teacher for YOUR dance program :)
ReplyDeleteI did the same for my school teacher! I was the worst student in my school with just getting grace marks. She told me, That I wont get too far in my life. ^ years later, After she even forgot me, I went to her to invite her to my convocation at my engineering college! Thats attitude and carry ti with yourself dear.
Dont walk as if you own this world. Walk as if you dont fucking care who owns this world!
Adi :)
Its not stupid advice.Its sensible advice.I know.I am being overly sensitive about nothing.Its not just dance,but so many many things are going out of control...I am feeling like the Jean Gray character of the X-Men 3 :P
ReplyDeleteAnyways thanx for going through my stupid ramblings,and for the quote at the end :)
Opinions differ ma dont take that seriously. Sometimes it is better to be told that we are not good enough atleast we can improve na. cheer up
ReplyDeleteIt must one of those periods when you thing the whole world is against you.
this too shall pass
@Anu
ReplyDeleteI kind of agree with what Venks says especially the latter part of his comment. As someone dear to me used to say everyone in this world goes through a time when the world seems to be against them. When the chips are down, hang in - which is what you are already doing! SO good :)
As for Life pausing... the only question is: will YOU allow it to pause? Can you take time, relax, get away from it all to recoup and come back? Too many times we - and I mean all of us do it - think that Life is fast. It may well be given the times we live in... but the mantle still lies with us. We can be speedy and crave for thrills and crash everytime we are disappointed. Or we can be slow, steady and stoical. The choice is with US!!!
PS: Sorry for the advice. lol. Sorrier if it makes you feel worse than you already are. But rest assured, it shall pass!
Hi first timer on your blog. I don't know if you will like it. After all advice is something which comes without even asking it. Isn't It?
ReplyDeleteNobody can pull your confidence levels down. Just keep your head high and as long as you have a passion for dance nobody can say anything. May be a bigger platform is awaiting you. Remember hindi filmdom's dream girl hemamalini. She was turned down in tamil films because she was not graceful and look where it landed here.
Unclog the block from the creative pipe. Awaiting your stories, poems etc.,
You know wat.. you like it or not, it will pass... :)
ReplyDeleteUntil then keep singing.. keep dancing.. ok at least in ur room or something... :P
Cheer up...
Cheers..!!
Arjun
*Sigh* I wish I could dance :\
ReplyDeleteyou didn`t tell me about it??
ReplyDeleteadi pavi.. i never thought u would feel for this nu..!! and y did't u tell a this to me...???
ReplyDelete(many things u don't tell.. so let it b one of them).
and coming to the point, u know ur talent na..?? then do u bother ab the ppl around u...? they keep telling sth or the other ya.
its upto us to face them boldly.
* y do u bother ab ppl around u..?
ReplyDelete