Saturday, August 17, 2013

Life after marriage

Before you jump into any conclusions regarding the title,let me assure you that yes,its meant purely for seeking attention and no, I haven't got married yet. 

Marriage is an important phase of our lives. Specially in India,where marriage is one big occasion and much hullabaloo surrounds it,marriage ceases to remain what it actually is- bonding of two people.Its so complex that everyone has just accepted it in its current and simple forms-rituals,gifts,the expectations from the bride/groom, and in some cases,dowry.But look beyond that,its just the lifelong sharing of companionship for two people,bonded in friendship and complete acceptance of each other.But is it always really just the two people?

I am digressing from what I intend to share.And that is about marriage.Not mine; but my brother's.

Am sure I'll be too happy when he gets married to whoever he likes.And thats around a year or so away,or maybe more.Just a year or so away.

I was talking to my mother about my...well...apprehensions.My brother getting married? That means he'll no longer tease me or make fun of me or irritate me? No more physical fights (OK don't worry,those are mild ones)? No more fighting about who would be driving the car? No more passing around food items to him since I can't eat more of it?No more fighting for the TV? No more laughing together at silly things?No more of his grave advices which I don't understand at all?No more verbal altercations?

My mom was surprised as I kept on asking more of such irrelevant questions.And she didn't really know how to tackle them.All she said was "We're sharing it all with a new family member na?Why are you worrying?"

I still wasn't convinced.Then my mom said "Imagine in future your husband has a sister and she also thinks like you do now,won't you be hurt?"

Of course,since my brother would be getting married first I hadn't thought about my own marriage.But that got me thinking.She had a point.

And after lots and lots of thinking,I got to understand one cliche .Nothing is life remains as it is.Niether the tangible things like house,cars or mementoes nor the intangible ones like relationships,phases and memories.All I have to do is cherish the memories,not bind it with me or try to recreate the same.It can't be done at all :)

So,I guess I should welcome the new bride (whoever he chooses),and make her feel at home in our eccentric but loving family.

I hopped upon happily with this thought,till my brother pulled my plait.

And then,a fight ensued.


  1. Awesome anuradha :) everysingle word is so so true :) "All I have to do is cherish the memories,not bind it with me or try to recreate the same.It can't be done at all " WELL SAID :) :)

  2. Excellent write up. You are absolutely correct. Nothing in life remains as it is. Take it from me. After marriage, things will change in everyone's life. Your brother's first priority will be his wife. Your first priority will be your husband. And, that's the way it should be.


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