The Feminism? (Milder version!)

"Hey you should leave the seat right now!" shouted a woman so loudly that everyone nearly jumped for a moment.The lady in question had her eyes fixed on the guy who had managed to grab a seat but unfortunately,the seat was a 'ladies seat' , which is a common site in all city buses in the metros in India. The guy mumbled something like "having fever, please" and really looked ill. The woman shook her head and said more loudly this time "ladies seat pa,yendri" (get up,its the ladies seat).The man looked at the conductor-who had come up seeing the commotion- for some support.But all he got was the conductor throwing up his hands in air to show helplessness and told him to find another seat.The man finally gave up and the woman had finally won the who-grabs-the-ladies-seat contest.

Let me analyse the woman now.

Educated? She's texting away on her Samsung phone. Check.
Working? She's got a Tupperware lunchbag. Check.

No, I am not interested in whether she's married or not by the way, but I do recall she got on the bus from a place which had an IT company right next to it. I can imagine this woman proclaiming she's a feminist and look at men with a "you rapist!" kinda look.Stereotyping, I know. But the thing about stereotypes is that they're unfortunately been true at some point of time.

So,where is the feminism? What is it teaching? That men are lesser beings and women are the sole goddess and nurturer and all those fancy words? That women are strong yet need that special ladies seat in the bus to rest their tired legs?

Duh.Please, give me a break. Let me be clear for once.

Feminism is about equality. Not about female superiority.

Equal pay for equal jobs? Great! Then why no paternity leaves like maternity leaves?
Equal job opportunities? Awesome! Why then there can't be more househusbands?
Equal education? I agree! Then why lesser fees for girls?

Honestly,being a woman myself, I obviously would not go on a war against my own gender. But please! There's nothing special for being either gender (only difference being the X chromosome, which actually makes all the difference!). So, there is no god gifted special power in my hands that would magically turn all dishes tasty, nor is a man the ultimate protector/saviour/whatever of women.

To be more philosophical, its all in the mind.Deal with it!

P.S : The man got another empty seat, the woman in the bus got down in the next stop, and I took that seat ;)

Hasn't your mother taught you anything?

In a popular women's magazine, I came across this question in response to a query raised in one of it's agony aunt type columns : Hasn't your mother taught you anything?

Whoa! Now THAT's weird! Essentially the lady wished to know how could she best manage home and work since she doesn't find time after a hard day at work and the house remains a mess or she isn't able to cook a lot of stuffs and her dear hubby also gets angry since he wishes to invite his friends over.

And in response she's asked (not even in a subtle manner) that whether her mother has not taught her anything regarding household work.

What.The.Hell

Yes,its imperative people dig into upbringing and environment ; but the question was simple : tips on how to manage job and work?
The answer can include getting help from the husband (which wasn't mentioned at all), knowing easy-to-make recipes,hiring a maid (as simple as that!) and so on.

But the response had me rattled.

Why do we get into personal comments about people whom we haven't met or are not close with?
Also, why we still presume all the girls should be brought up to be ideal wives and daughter-in-laws ; while it is assumed that a man would be the bread-winner for the family?Why can't we steer clear of stereotypes? Why can't we accept  stay-at-home dads or  career oriented women without much fuss?

In this case,what does it have to do if her mother taught her anything or not?! Perhaps she wanted her daughter to be able to earn so that she's financially secured and stands on her own in the society !(Not knowing the same society still measures a woman's success on her homemaking skills alone)

Heck! Why do we even need to bother about other people's decisions at all?Are you going to suffer from stomach cancer if your neighbour is a stay-at-home dad and the wife is the CEO of a company? No,right?

Lets all try not to judge people (see? Am not judging the person who gave that advise :-D) and instead just focus on the situation at hand.We've got more important works to do rather than judging people and giving them unnecessary and outrageous advice, don't we?

Cheers!
Have a breezy week ahead! :-)

Be like the Bee!

A honey bee,while on its quest to get its nectar to make honey,does two jobs - get the nectar,and help in cross pollination of flowers.

When nature itself has examples of peaceful coexistence,then shouldn't we,as the evolved "intelligent" race,introspect our lives too?

Imagine a big house where you live alone. A big car you drive on your own.
Exotic cuisine no one to explore with.
Loneliness being a friend is a myth.

The purpose of our lives is fulfilled when we help others directly or indirectly.What goes around,comes around. This I learnt in a short story by Enid Blyton in which one person does a good deed to another and tells him or her to " pass it on". This cycle of good deeds eventually reach back to the person ( a small kid) who started this chain! ( thank you Enid Blyton for your meaningful bedtime stories!! )

How do we incorporate that in our lives?
See that old lady afraid to cross the road?Take her hand and help her cross.See the small boy unable to reach a favourite biscuit packet in the supermarket? Just take that packet and hand it to him with a smile.See that man struggling with loads of bags with him? Help him out.See that unhappy acquaintance? Listen to her woes sincerely and offer support.

Be like the honey bee. Help others. Spread smiles!You'll not only find the honey of happiness,you'll also find the smiling flowers you've helped to blossom :-)

Cheers! Have a smiling week ahead!!
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

Being a Bad Friend

Okay! So this has been in my mind for many months now,but I had been delaying it purposely.After all,admitting you're a bad friend is a difficult thing to do!

Yes,am a bad friend.Like really a bad friend.And that's the reason why I hate Facebook too.I guess I show signs of the Facebook Syndrome when I say how much I yearn to have friends who would dedicate a Status,put up my pic with them,or just put up some quirky status for me....No no please don't do those now!

The point is,I am a terrible friend.I already said that,right? Going down the memory lane,I miss so many of my friends.Unfortunately am one of those silent sufferers who put up a facade of "Oh I don't care!" but deep down,the memories of a friendship haunt me,making me painfully miss my friends and those "good" times.

Have I tried to be in contact? Tried to plan some outing of sorts?Some get-together?Movie?Gossip session?I guess the answer is no.Sigh.

Maybe they don't even think about me.Oh,thats the harder part.To accept that they've moved on.How'll I go on about pulling them unwillingly to the days-that-were mode when they're like "Yeah it was.So?"

But I do remember birthdays.It's the wishing that I don't do.

Am behaving like a person out of a newly broken up relationship,ain't I?

Well,Friendship is important.To me at least.But unfortunately my vocal chords go on a holiday whenever I wish to express that "You're my friend! I always cherish your friendship!"

Oh well,time to move on for me too I guess.All this rant would do me no-good.

Wait a minute.Hey! That's an old friend of mine.She's sent a friend request! You think she remembered me,that's why send a request? Or just a random act of adding someone she knows?

That's anybody's guess!

Cheers...Have a happy month ahead!

Life after marriage

Before you jump into any conclusions regarding the title,let me assure you that yes,its meant purely for seeking attention and no, I haven't got married yet. 

Marriage is an important phase of our lives. Specially in India,where marriage is one big occasion and much hullabaloo surrounds it,marriage ceases to remain what it actually is- bonding of two people.Its so complex that everyone has just accepted it in its current and simple forms-rituals,gifts,the expectations from the bride/groom, and in some cases,dowry.But look beyond that,its just the lifelong sharing of companionship for two people,bonded in friendship and complete acceptance of each other.But is it always really just the two people?

I am digressing from what I intend to share.And that is about marriage.Not mine; but my brother's.

Am sure I'll be too happy when he gets married to whoever he likes.And thats around a year or so away,or maybe more.Just a year or so away.

I was talking to my mother about my...well...apprehensions.My brother getting married? That means he'll no longer tease me or make fun of me or irritate me? No more physical fights (OK don't worry,those are mild ones)? No more fighting about who would be driving the car? No more passing around food items to him since I can't eat more of it?No more fighting for the TV? No more laughing together at silly things?No more of his grave advices which I don't understand at all?No more verbal altercations?

My mom was surprised as I kept on asking more of such irrelevant questions.And she didn't really know how to tackle them.All she said was "We're sharing it all with a new family member na?Why are you worrying?"

I still wasn't convinced.Then my mom said "Imagine in future your husband has a sister and she also thinks like you do now,won't you be hurt?"

Of course,since my brother would be getting married first I hadn't thought about my own marriage.But that got me thinking.She had a point.

And after lots and lots of thinking,I got to understand one cliche .Nothing is life remains as it is.Niether the tangible things like house,cars or mementoes nor the intangible ones like relationships,phases and memories.All I have to do is cherish the memories,not bind it with me or try to recreate the same.It can't be done at all :)

So,I guess I should welcome the new bride (whoever he chooses),and make her feel at home in our eccentric but loving family.

I hopped upon happily with this thought,till my brother pulled my plait.

And then,a fight ensued.

God and me...talk about inequality!

"I hate you God",I grumbled.

"What's your complaint now?",God asked lightly,enjoying His cold coffee topped with chocolate ice cream.

"Why did you create women to serve men? Can't it be other way round? Don't women have any identity?Don't women deserve some care and respect?"

"What? When did I say women are born to serve men?",He asked,mildly surprised but still not leaving His cold coffee.

"The scriptures say so.Some sage has said that that's how God willed the Earth to be.With men being in command and women feeling lucky to be able to serve them.",I was almost fuming now,ready to pour out my temper.

"Hold on now,don't say like that.Let me just recollect about what happened millenia ago.....ya now I get it! Ha! See,I'll share this video with you,and you judge based on that about who did what,okay?",God handed me His super-phone to view the video.

***

Adam and Eve are resting in some garden.Adam turns to Eve and says "Hey! I don't think we can survive on fruits whole year.These take time to grow.I saw some funny looking white seeds that seems edible enough to eat.We'll try boiling them in water to clean them.I'll pick those up and we'll give it a try.What do you think?"

"You read my mind so well! I was going to seek your opinion about the same!"

Adam smiles,"Am so lucky to have you,you and I think on the same lines"

The next day,Adam is busy collecting the 'white seeds' and Eve fills water and boils it.Adam had to travel to and fro to the fields and back since he had no bag or sack to collect the white seeds.Meanwhile,Eve removed the chaffs as they seemed to taste bitter and but the seeds one by one onto the boiling water.

The seeds did seem edible but there was still some more exploration to be done.

Adam lay down beside Eve,tired, and asked her if she could massage his legs.Eve happily did it,after which a grateful Adam offered to massage Eve's neck which was aching after all the bending over the boiling water.

They found the correct way to cook rice,and taught that to their children too.

The clan grew and grew.It was established that the women will stay at home and cook,while the men bring in the raw materials.And women shall serve their partners while the men take rest.

The great-great-great-great-granddaughter of Adam and Eve once opined,"I want to go out hunting too"

Her brothers laughed,and told her to stay at home and cook.

"But why?"

"That's what your great-great-great grandmother did!",they replied in chorus.

***

I was still trying to get the meaning of the video,while God was happily licking off the cream from the glass.

"So what does this mean? Does that give you the right to write inscriptions that say women are nothing but servants for looking after home?"

God sighed."You spoiled the positive after effects of having a cold coffee.My dear Ms. Ignorant,did I write the inscriptions?"

"Well I guess you authorised some human to write",I said,feeling a little less confident.

"Then you see,thats how human beings are.They don't want to change.They like the order that has been set for them since ages to remain intact.They don't like confrontations.They don't like to try something new with each generation.They don't want to do anything else!"

"But then what is the difference between humans and donkeys?",I asked,confused.

God grinned."It's not enough to be born human.You have to prove that you are one!"

And He went off to get a blackcurrant milkshake.

P.S: 

No disregard or disrespect towards Adam and Eve.Or donkeys.Just a tiny attempt at trying to reconstruct the events based on my thoughts.

We don't know if it's right when we say women have been made to serve men since time immemorial.It can be that as the society 'progressed',the relationship between men and women became unequal,creating more of a Master and Slave,instead of having love and respect.

So let me assume that it all started fine,but somewhere in the middle,it got tangled into the monotonicity of "the tried and tested" scenario.

Do think about it once :)

Cheers! Have a happy week ahead!

Taking care of a place called home!!!

My to-do list these days include:
1.Buy milk
2.Buy vegetables
3.Buy dals
4.Pay bills
5.Empty the dustbin
6.Cook (!!!!)
7.Wash utensils
8.Cook lunch for office
9.Wash clothes
10.Switch off lights before going out

No,I am not married yet (Thank you for your well-intentioned guesses that I seem to have got married).I am living in a rented apartment which somehow transformed me from a carefree girl to a always-thinking-about-what-to-cook home-maker.

Yes,I am now a home-maker without being married.I know loads and loads of girls and woman lead such life,then what is so special about me living like this? Well nothing actually.But still,its kinda different ;)

Now my day starts with the thought for what I'll cook for lunch-actually the thought starts appearing since night,before going to bed and I get dreams about me cooking up exotic dishes for lunch! Then much of the times in office I am asked "So,what did you cook today?",with some well-meaning suggestions and advices thrown in between.In fact,once when I recounted to a colleague of mine how I forgot to add onions to my Sambar and next time forgot about the dal,she(who will be getting married in a few months),got an "insight" into the life of an early-morning-lunch-box-making young girl(and her silence indicated she's a bit apprehensive about her life post marriage :-D)

I now realise how tough it is for my mom (not just mine,but for everyone's moms)to cook and keep the home tidy and handle our tantrums and et all.Sorry mom...I won't ever pester you to make my favourite dishes the next time I am home,I'll eat whatever you cook (which would inevitably be my favourite dishes ;) )

Sometimes this freedom is exhilarating.You can cook your favourite dishes (Am I ranting too much about food??),you can throw around your things anywhere and you'll learn to be independent(Yeah,now I know whom to call when I spot a cockroach or centipede!)

On the downside,you would inevitably feel lonely(because walls have ears,not a mouth),after a hard day at work you'd wish someone would be there at home who'd take care of the dishes lying in the kitchen sink,that the dust and dirt wouldn't dance around beneath your feet,that all you got to do is come home,eat,and sleep,that you don't need to go by yourself each time the groceries reach a danger mark,and that the only other thing that talks in your home is not the TV!

*Sigh*

Circumstances(and mostly my adamant opinions and thoughts) have brought me here.Lets see where life takes me from here.Any guesses? (Please don't start about what a wonderful wife I'll be blah blah blah....I have an overdose of that talk!)

P.S:
If you have any suggestions/recipes for easy cooking(vegetarian, please) do drop in your comments ;)
Cheers! Have a great weekend :)

Why NO to learning new languages?

Recently,I was looking over the comments section of a forum wherein the discussion was about "How to stop people from using regional language in Meetings?".From just meetings,the discussion drifted to Hindi speaking vs Non-Hindi speaking people.There were people who were giving out statements like "Why should we learn Hindi?".That got me thinking.

What's so bad about learning Hindi? A lot of states speak that language.A lot of languages have words similar to those in Hindi.Don't believe me?

Tu kasa aala?
Tum kaise aaye?/Tu kaise aaya?
How did you come?
That's Marathi.

Tumar Naam Ki?
Tumhara naam kya hai?
What is your name?
That's Assamese.

Tume mo sahita asiba ki?
Tum mere saath aayoge kya?
Will you come with me?
Thats Oriya.

Tussi ki kitta?
Tumne kya kiya?
What did you do?
That's Punjabi

For all those familiar with Hindi would realise that the words are similar and can be derived 
from Hindi,to some extent at least.
Now lets get to Non-Hindi derived languages.

Unga peru enna?
What is your name?
Thats Tamil

Ninte perentaanu?#
What is your name?
Thats Malayalam
#(Sounds familar to Tamil's peru which means Name)

Avashyavaghi* koduthene
Yes of course.
That's Kannada
*(Sounds similar to Hindi's Avashya,which means the same as the meaning mentioned here)

Idhi javaabu**
It is the answer/This is the answer
That's Telugu
**(Sounds similar to Tamil's Idhu which means "this" and Hindi's Jawaab)

So you see,if we learn one North Indian language,and one South Indian language,am sure we'll be able to understand and grasp other languages more easily.After all,in this age of migration and all that,we don't want to lose out on opportunities just because of few sound movements which our tongue favours!We're ready to learn French and Japanese,right? Then why not a language nearer?From our own Country?(I know that sounds a cliched excuse.Oh well,there must be some iota of truth in it maybe ;) )

What else is language anyway? Its just a medium of communication.It won't do anyone harm if we try to learn one or two more.Its not about forcing anyone to learn.Its just being sensible :)

P.S: I am not a language expert,nor I know most of the Indian languages.But these are the very few similarities that I could find between different languages.When the languages themselves have an invisible connection amongst themselves,then what are we fighting about? :)
And also,I just picked out the examples which I thought could best support this post.And am sincerely sorry to any mistakes (I copied from online),and am sorry if anyone's sentiments were hurt (though I wonder why they should be hurt anyway?)

Cheers...Have a Happiiiieeeeeeee Week Ahead ! :)

And I thought men and women were equal

Shahrukh Khan says declares virtuously in a tea ad "From now,the actress name will appear before mine in my upcoming films."

It makes me wonder,how doing that will increase the respect for women anywhere?

Why couldn't the ad instead say "From now,the names of actress and actor will appear together".

Each day on facebook we see posts that portray women as great demi-gods,sacrificing machines,those with unconditional love...everything angelic but not humans.

Why can't we instead focus on being equals,neither great nor worse.After all,there are only two types of human beings- Man and Woman.Yes,there are biological differences,but if there is an equality instead of fight for superiority,much of the conflict would be resolved.

What do you think?


P.S: I guess this is my shortest post ever.

The line between equality and bias is sometimes too bleak to be noticed.What becomes "Equality" for one becomes "Bias" for another.After all,it's not that men are just unemotional,feelingless creatures.They have feelings too.

The battle that never ends

Okay everyone! I now join thousands of people across the internet who have poured out their anger and grief over the brutal,inhuman gangrape of the 23-year-old girl from Delhi which sent shockwaves across the nation.

At the outset,I would pray for the girl's soul,and hope she has moved on to a better place.A brave,spirited daughter.Why brave? Because instead of screaming "Ma,mujhe marr jaane do! Meri zindagi barbaad ho gayee hai! (Oh mother let me die! My life is finished!)"  like the rape victims in movies and tele-serials,she whispered "I want to live".And live she does,in the heart of millions who have been closely watching the case and been praying for her.

If the previous cases of rape and molestation(such as that of the Guwahati girl) had a stricter and swifter punishment,this girl would've been alive today, because then the men wouldn't have dared to do those horrid things they did to her.But they did.

And why? Because they thought they can get away with it.Even if the girl weren't beaten up like this,and she struggled to lodge an FIR,they may just say that they were "provoked",and the Court may have "observed" that the victim was wrong by taking the wrong bus at the wrong time,and her character would've come into question.

This is the glaring truth of India.A girl is raped and the policemen ask her the details of the act.In fact,policemen act like part-time priests when they suggest the victim marry her rapist.Why? So that he and his friends will continue to rape her,but this time,she won't lodge a complaint against her own husband.Because,according to the police and the Court,marital rape doesn't exist(In fact,they don't know the meaning of the term marital rape).

Rape is hardly ever a sexual act.Its an act of a physically strong but mentally weak guy, showing how superior he is on a woman who is not able to fight back (that explains the rape of 8-year-olds to 40-year-olds).How else can you explain 6 guys forcing themselves on a woman just to "teach her a lesson" because she fought back? Or have you wondered how a man can rape a small girl of around 7 years of age (or less)?They're sick,scared and inferiority-complex-suffering people who display their misplaced sense of masculinity.

So you see? Women and their clothes don't really instigate men to rape.Then what about the street harassment that women face everyday? That happens the same even if we wear mini-skirts or saree or salwar.

The point is,in this male dominated society of our country,women have been blamed and shamed into silence.This of course makes the younger (and impressionable) minds to think that whatever they do,"sab chalta hai" (all is fair).

NOT,if the government enforces a strict law against rapists and sexual offenders.That would make the men realise that women are human beings with feelings,who feel bad when some men obscenely comment about her butt,without even caring to lower their voices;who think any woman waiting for a bus at night wants to be laid for money;who judge a woman not by the work she does but the clothes she wears.

But what would make the government to take this step when the people who constitute the governing body think a woman would like to be raped just to get compensation from the government?And also when one minister insults another Chief Minister's character openly without thinking twice?That means,the problem lies with the attitude of people in general.

Its about time that parents teach their sons about respect and consent.But the rot runs too deep to be cleaned in a generation or two.Till then,we don't know how many such 23-year-olds will get raped and killed,how many 18-year-olds will commit suicide,and how many 8-year-olds will go on battling for justice.

Till then,we keep up the fight.And hope the sacrifice of this 23-year-old--a sacrifice she made so that the people of our great country stop turning a blind eye to something as drastic as rape--doesn't go in vain.

P.S:
Yes,I am feeling helpless.But what can I do? Is anyone listening?

Hypocrites and Spirituality!!!!

In my opinion,the hypocrites are the most spiritually enlightened people on Earth.You know hypocrites? Those who don't walk their talk,who brag about themselves,who say one thing and do something else? Yeah those! How? Lets find out.....

@School

S: Hey,you know what? I've fought with H.Am not going to talk to her ever again.
Me: Why what happened?
S: Don't ask! But its so painful,I don't wanna think about her.
Me(Dutifully not asking her further): OK.

Next day.

A: Hey why haven't S and H come yet?
Me: Oh they've got some tension between them.That's what S told me.Looks like an awful fight!

The door opens,and in come S and H,linking arms and giggling like they've been best friends since birth.

And here I am thinking that they're not gonna talk to each other ever!

And this is just a small,tiny,unimportant example.There are loads of other examples.
"I don't believe in dowry,but it would be nice if you do give some gold jewelry for the wedding."
"I am a feminist,but I do believe girls should not let career be a priority in their lives"
"I am a God-fearing person".Ha ha ha.
"I give my children the full freedom to pursue whatever they want to- either Engineering or M.B.B.S".

So where does spirituality come into picture?

Hypocrites don't care about what or how other people feel about them. Thats a strong spirituality aspect- just do your own work.
Hypocrites don't think twice about being bonded by the words they've uttered.
Hypocrites don't care that they forge bonds with people with whom they've sworn off all ties.That shows how they've conquered the Ego problem! (Till the time the work is done,of course!)
Finally,Hypocrites don't care about others-after all,one should be detached from wordly attachments!

Should we be Hypocrites too then? ;-)

Cheers....Have a happy week ahead!

P.S: This post is not intended to ridicule Spiritualism or whatever has been mentioned.Just a tiny wee bit sarcasm ;-)

The power of negative

Anything negative attracts immediate attention.A negative RH of a blood group,a dip in economy,a sad ending in a movie or book-they remain in our memory for a long time.

Imagine if in the movie Titanic,Jack hadn't died while saving Rose,instead he also found some plank to hang on to and is saved....would it have had the same impact.You may argue that the destruction of Titanic was what everyone felt bad about,but then,if there had not been any tragic love story put in,the movie would've resembled a documentary.

People lamenting about their personal problems is sure to gain more attention than those who go around with a smile trying to make people happy and cheerful.Yeah,ideally everyone doesn't like a person who goes on whining.But I guess its just human tendency to feel sorry for a person on the outside,while the brain is sadistically happy that "I am not the one affected".

Even stories having a sad ending remain etched in our memories.Why is Romeo Juliet more celebrated than some other love story having a happy ending?

Being positive and seeing the positive side of any situation is the simple mantra of a happy life.But really,its not that simple.Observe how your own thoughts wander when faced with a crisis.They'll take the easier way out-thinking negatively.Its something we aren't able to control.

Very few people have this ability to see the sunshine when its raining.We think they're unrealistic,because reality is actually very dark.Thats why dark matter in space gained more attention than the non-dark matters *:-D*.

So,who is right? The unrealistic or the realistic? Is it okay to let negativity rule our lives or try fighting with it?Is it really worth it?

P.S:
Quite a confusing post,isn't it? Well,thats how my thoughts are running about too! :-D

Cheers...have a happy  POSITIVE week ahead! :)

Picture Courtesy: Google 

Being different......

"Tell me about yourself",the woman asked me,

She had this duty to evaluate my personality,

To read between the words I speak,

To know if I can interact effectively.

I had come prepared for the question,

After all,all interviews had this in common,

I was about to answer,remembering the key points,

When the question echoed again and again in my mind.

"Who are you?",my mind asked me,

I was different,I knew that from the beginning,

But being different is not something others like,

Being different makes it hard for friendships to strike.

I was not different physically,nor had I problems with speech,

And yet,alienated from others,the society did teach,

To fall in line or fall by the wayside,

There is no place to run,no place to hide.

Sitting alone,roaming by myself,had become a part of me,

Those who felt sorry for me,offered me their company,

Of course I did join them,being more than happy,

And yet,it was so painful to be asked out of pity.

I wasn't mean,nor was I rude or dominating

I was kind and quite accomodating,

But I was different,this was painfully obvious,

I was known amongst teachers,yet unknown and lost.

Till then I had accepted,I was different and alone,

But the loneliness hurt more than breaking a bone,

Slowly,wiping away my tears,I changed myself to suit others,

And I was the happiest I got friends in the process.

But no one knows who I really am,

My questions,thoughts are restricted to my mind,

A veil of pretense I have drawn over me,

Now I am scared to let it go and show them my real face.

Maybe its deceit,maybe its not right,

But no longer can I alone fight,

I have some people to talk to,someone to take notice I am there,

But I can't recognize who is it I see in the mirror.

All these thoughts flashed in a jiffy,

While the woman looked up expectantly,

I heaved a sigh,and smiled my best smile,

"I  am quite different from others because....",I started the lie.

************************************************************************

In my opinion,the greatest mistake our species did was to create a Society.Social creature is the term used to describe us,but then all it has done is forcing us to be a photocopy of each other.Anyone who is different,is shunned and ridiculed.

It's not something that happens to someone particular.We all are victims and culprits.Haven't we been ignored if our thoughts don't match others and so we change to please 'them'?

And how many times have we tried to talk and find out genuinely about people who don't share our thoughts?Its not that difficult to strike a conversation with such people and become friendly with people.Who knows,you may help a person to open up and feel loved.All of us want to feel cared for,don't we?Then why look for favourites to share our care? :-)

So,all of us are different in some way,but all of us have the right to feel cared for.:-)

P.S:

Got my first salary...yippee!!!! :-):-):-)

And oh by the way,its not something that has particularly happened to me,because,as I said,we all are victims and culprits too.

So go out and make someone happy....am sure they'll make you happy when you need someone too! :-)

Cheers! Have a happy week ahead ! :-)

The blah blah and blah

I love the winter.Unfortunately,in Chennai-where I'll be working for a few years or so-there is hardly a climate that is even remotely close to a peak winter day in Delhi.Of course,winter kills too,but that's another matter.

I love the damp smell of fog that hangs about the air,the misty landscape,the chill air blowing on our faces,and the warmth that engulfs us when we get under a blanket.Wow!

The best memories of winter are the ones in Guwahati,where I would go to school at around 7 30, walking through the roads surrounded by lush greenery and the cool air.And the running around the field during the games period,throwing our sweaters/blazers on the ground.And the nights.When going to a distant temple meant fun,in that cool weather.

The winter in Guwahati isn't as wintery as in Delhi or Haryana.But it was and is certainly colder than a winter day in Chennai.

I love winter because of the sweaters too! The stockings,sweaters,jackets and Scarves! Wowieee!

*Sigh* I wish the days I spent in Guwahati can be visited again.But I guess its not the location that matters now.Its the time.And time has very little time for everyone *wink*.

P.S:
Emotional? Touchy? Not necessarily.But honestly,I feel my blog is going down in terms of my so called writing-talent.Yeah yeah I should be thankful that I have a talent and try to develop it instead of letting it develop itself.But I wonder why my hands don't play the same word games they used to do before?

*Sigh*

I guess am now inspired by the Indian Soap Operas or the deliberately sad movies that thrive and grow on the emotional "atyaachar" (torture) ;)

Cheerio! Happy Week ahead! And the best way to have a happy week is making someone happy!!!!!! :) :) :)

God is anti-social

"Dear God,am sorry to say,you're anti-social and racist!" I mumbled to myself  on a quiet afternoon.The next instant,my quiet afternoon turned chaotic when suddenly smoke filled my room and God stood in front of me,looking irritated.

"Now what's your problem?",he groaned,sitting heavily on the chair near me.

"Well,you're racist.It seems you had divided men on the basis of the jobs they're supposed to do,and look how the people treat each other now!"

"What is it I've done?",God asked,raising his voice with each word.

"Ask what you've NOT done! You should've done an MBA and you would've been able to see how your seemingly correct action of dividing men based on their jobs would later on create such repercussions on the society!"

"But...but.."

"I know you just wanted peace to reign so that people don't fight amongst themselves about who does what.But who gave you the right to utter verses that say some people who are supposed to be lower in the society are born from your feet or something like that?"

"I don't really remember if I did say that,but then what was wrong in that? If people don't have feet can they walk? No! Similarly,imagine if the supposed low caste people don't exist,how will society progress?"

"That's a very lame excuse..."

"It's not.I don't really remember that long back as I've so much to look into and my secretary is on leave too,but am sure I never wanted someone to suffer just because they belong to some group of people assigned to do certain work.Maybe I must've intended in helping people have different duties...."

"....and forgot to tell people that they're not to ill treat someone just because they have certain names and so called caste and creed",I fumed.

"Look here my child.The human mind I created is like a plant.It feeds on your thoughts.If you feed it bad thoughts,it'll make you behave badly.And it is very fragile too.It's very easy to get carried away by your own achievements,but not letting pride and vanity engulf you,being humble,being amiable to everyone is something very hard to do.Also,its very hard to say without anyone coaxing you that 'Your turn is over,now its my turn to do the job'.So you see,its not something I did.Its something the humans themselves did to others and are paying the price.It's not that I wanted some people to be happy and some to be discriminated."

I was,as always,shown how little I had known God and start accusing him.But then,something else came to my mind.

"But who told you to make the mind so fragile?Couldn't you have made it stronger?",I started on a different vein.

God sighed."Am sorry I didn't meet you before creating the human mind.How was I supposed to know that humans cannot control even a little bit of fragility of their minds!"

"Well.."

"You always keep pestering me and accusing me without thinking.I can't take it anymore! I want to resign!",He roared.

"And will I be the replacement then?",I beamed.

God paused before saying,"I think I won't resign as yet",and guffawed loudly.

I was about to say more when God surprisingly turned around and walked to the door.

"Hey where are you going?"

"To get a degree in MBA"

And He vanished.

The proper living?

We all live according to theory of relativity.Our achievements are calculated relative to some friend,colleague,cousin,distant cousin or too distant cousin.We often see something thats tangible and wish "Haaye,kaash yeh mere paas hota (wish I had it too)".

If we're not degrading our self-esteem by doing that,we're busy degrading the self-esteem of someone else by bitching about them.A girl wearing a skirt is seen as too modern,"western" girl,while a girl wearing salwaar kameez is seen as "too traditional,won't fit in",a man helping his wife is seen as "weak",but a man not helping his wife is seen as "mean".A person staying with his/her parents is seen as being "dependent",while in vice versa he/she is "too selfish to care for the parents".

Being judgemental is the easiest and most conscience-friendly thing to do.As I've mentioned in my previous posts,the aim of our lives is to attain stability,much like we learn about the carbon compounds in 12th standard Chemistry.But how can we be stable if,when we look around us,we find that others seem to be doing well than us? No,we strive for more,work more hard,find more ways,but at the cost of missing out little things in life.In the end,we're left unhappy.For what? Just because someone else has it and we don't?

They say life is complicated.No,it isn't.It's very simple.But,much like they say "Truth is often bitter",same goes for simplicity."Simple life is actually complicated."

Why should Gandhiji be one of the great men in India?He was simple.His mantra was simple- the truth.

No,am not saying "lets all throw away our phones,laptops,tv etc etc and become a hermit".If we can't control our way of living,our dependance on the above said things,then we can surely control our thoughts,right?

How about trying not to be judgemental-about others as well as us.Lets just not bother about why the neighbour's second sister's daughter hasn't got married yet,lets not bother about why that brother's wife's uncle hasn't got any children yet,lets not comment about how our boss must've had a rough day at home because he's fuming at the employees,lets not put an end to our acceptance of people as they are.

If we stop letting people interfere in our life-by constantly making us worried about what they have :-D- and stop interfering in other's lives too.....maybe,just maybe,we may have a little more peaceful life.The more we breed on the negativity,the sadistic pleasure of self-pity and judgementalism,the more we'll be away from the purpose of our life- to be happy.and being happy isn't all that difficult anyway :-)

So let your thoughts run around in the positive axis of your life's plane; you'll find a lot of your frowns turning into smiles :)

Cheers....Have a happy week ahead! :):):):):):):):)

P.S:

Its holiday time! Exams over...the last exams of my B.E degree :) *sigh*.Oh well,one chapter ends,other begins :) 

Sporting issues

I have always wondered what is it about Cricket that casts a spell on almost every child?Or even adults?Is it because of the way it has been projected to be such a glorious and "patriotic" game? Why is there such a maddening rush of money (both black and white) for this game? Why there are so many many many technical jargon being blurted out to see if one ball touched the bat or not? Why has it ceased to be a sport and become something else?

I read an article in a news website about an archer who had to sell her bow worth Rs 4 lakhs, for a mere 50,000 bucks.That bow was gifted to her by her Korean coach,as he was impressed by her play.And she's not just another archer.She has won many accolades,even if not an Olympic medal.She had to sell it because she had to repair her mud house,and she had no money to do that.Will the government help her?She's still hopeful.

Agreed,there are many many players in cricket too who don't get their fifteen minutes of fame because of many factors.But then,we can't deny that cricket rules our country.Do we have analysis of a hockey match (even a match played in a World Cup),in any news channel,like the way Cricket matches are analysed? Do we really feel happy when any of our other sportsmen win?  Do we even know the names of the players of any of the other sportsmen?Why,we know the spouse's name of almost all the cricketers,don't we?

The problem is there is an overdose of cricket.Just now we'd have seen some Tri-series or Asia Cup or whatever,and then again almost immediately we'll be seeing the same men running behind a ball in another Series such as an IPL.Don't these guys deserve rest too? Don't other sports deserve some coverage too?

I don't have anything against cricket.But that doesn't mean we write off other sports if they don't give us the expected results-like tennis,for example.If there is no one to watch and cheer,obviously the drive to win lessens.All players-mostly-play for the country,but if the country is busy looking elsewhere,for whom would they play?

And its also a cliche that we've got bad infrastructure for other sports.But its true.Abhinav Bindra,as far as I've read,trained himself in some other country to achieve his feat.But still,we don't complain much about it and we somehow manage with whatever we have.With half hearted efforts,we get what we give-mediocre performance.

But there is still hope I suppose.One of my friends said that in his school,his sports coach doesn't allow his students to play cricket; he insists on other games instead.Of course,those other games don't have much infrastructure too,but then at least there is someone who refuses to go with the tide but encourages others to try other games too :-)

Hope in the future our country doesn't maintain its dubious distinction of being at the top in Cricket and non-existent in other sports :-)

Cheers...have a Happy Week ahead! :-) :-) :-)

Bidding adieu....

Yesterday,we had our farewell party,conducted by our juniors.Yeah,FAREWELL.Wait a minute,what year is it? 2012! Oh god! I came to college first in 2008.Seems the movie of my life has been set to fast forward and brought to 2012.Exaggeration? Well maybe,but I would still say I am surprised as to how time has flown by.


The earliest things I remember about my college is homesickness.Being away from home in an entirely different environment,I hated my college to the core,wanted to run away,disappear,but not face it.It took sometime before I accepted my fate over here.Then I actually started to love this place.


4 years.Just 4 years.Seems a small time.Seems a long time.So much happened in these four years.I said goodbye to my teens.I learnt not to cry for small things,instead learnt how to make others cry :-D.And yet,it feels I just entered college,and its the same day that my now-best-friend made me cry by asking me about my home :-D.Yeah,those tears of mine forged our friendship....eeeekkkssss! That sounds filmi :-D.

I also learnt to be proud of what I am,instead of lamenting about it.Everybody is unique...so am I :-).Learnt a lot of my own mother tongue, so much that my parents are amazed the way I speak now ;-).


Of course,I did learn some harsh lessons too.But lets not go to those...its a happy-happy post! And anyway,more than sad,I am happy about these four years.I don't want to be sad thinking about the baaaaaddddd things..life is too short to be bemoaning about bad things :)


Then finally,did I actually learn engineering? Well,one of the boys of my class has aptly stated in his facebook status,(well its just a gist of what he meant)
      "I don't know if we did learn engineering,but we did learn all other stuffs about life"


Okay,maybe his context of "all other stuffs" is different from mine..:-D but then,the basic feelings are there. :)


*Sigh* Still no tears from my eyes, yet.Maybe the real feeling hasn't hit me till now.Or maybe my college has also taught me not to cry about things not in my control.(Well thats a bit too much I know,but felt like saying it :-D)


I don't know if I am happy about how I changed from the person I was to what I am now(thanks to my college :-D).But,am happy about my life in these 3 and a half years.(Coz intial half year was spent on cursing this place :-D)


Okay I'll spare you from the infinite loop my post is moving in about the same old feelings of being lost and being found,and just go and do my work.:-D


P.S:
The farewell was awesome! The juniors got the lecturers to speak about the seniors (i.e,us),and they obviously spoke good things about our batch....I suspect they were cajoled to do so :-D.And of course,the photo sessions! Yippeee!!!! Instead of feeling bad about our last day,we,as always,were enjoying ourselves.:-D


Cheers to my batch of engineering degree :)


*God is looking down at me with an amused smile*

Thoughtful and still thinking :)

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference"
-"The road not taken",Robert Frost


For the past few days these words have been buzzing around my head,making a lot of noise.Maybe its because in a month or two my college life will end,so I am trying to rewind the moments of my life just till the time I gave my last exam of school.What if things would've been different?What if I had scored a lot in JEE?What if I had got a better rank in AIEEE?And other entrance exams?What if I had stood my ground and fought with my parents not to send me to Chennai?What if......*Sigh*.Its all useless now,isn't it?Because,much like a woman resignedly accepts loving her husband despite his flaws,I've fallen in love with this city despite trying so stubbornly to hate it:)


But it remains to be seen if the city has loved me back too.I may have to pack my bags and be a gypsy and go wherever work takes me,while this city would still be standing,waiting for another person like me to come.Or would it care?


The words by the poet still keep haunting me.




P.S:
Hello people who are still here reading this :) The year before had been eventful.Setbacks,despair,hope,getting employed(in TCS,campus recruitment),getting sick,feeling positive,feeling grown up(my b'day was on 12th Feb :D)....and well an amalgamation of many other things :)
I am surprised that 4 years have brought out such neat transformations that I didn't even realise when and how I changed.For proof,you can go through few of my initial posts when I first ventured into blogging :)


*Amused smile*.


Cheers...Have a happy weekend!:):):)

"Do" Vs "Don't Do"

Since our childhood,we're told about a lot of stuffs that we shouldn't do,speak,listen,eat,question and so on.But how many of us really follow those?

Its human nature to do the very act which has been prohibited.Really.The "Don't go out in the rain" is far more effective in triggering a reverse response(that is,you would go out in the rain) than "Stay at home".

A negative statement never gives the result."don't walk fast","don't be lazy","don't forget" ,all give a problem,but not the solution.They don't motivate us to do something.Whats the harm in walking fast?What should I be doing?Why shouldn't I forget?.These statements don't come to your mind by themselves....its just that the brain reacts more to positivity than negativity.You like being around a cheerful,encouraging and amiable person or rude,discouraging person?

When you say "I've to get up early" instead of "I must not wake up late"...you're sure to wake up early.A "I should be more active" instead of "I shouldn't be lazy" is far more effective.Even for small children,if you notice,they respond better to "put the paper down" in place of "don't tear the paper".Yeah I did try that.:)

So you see,our brain cells or neurons or whatever respond better to positive sentences.When there is a negative sentence,the brain has to perform the act and then negate the result.Don't get it?
Consider when you say "Don't throw the ball" to a small child.He will first have to understand what is "throw the ball",and then he will think and act on "DON'T throw the ball".

If you say "hold the ball",the child will not let go of the ball because its a simple statement.

Of course,for the adults,our brains are fast enough to understand the "don't"....and we sometimes purposely neglect it for our own convenience. ;)

So, DO be careful when you use the DOs and DON'Ts with anybody,including yourself :)

P.S: Found the info in a forwarded mail which I received.:)

Cheers,
Have a Happy Week Ahead :)