Being a Bad Friend

Okay! So this has been in my mind for many months now,but I had been delaying it purposely.After all,admitting you're a bad friend is a difficult thing to do!

Yes,am a bad friend.Like really a bad friend.And that's the reason why I hate Facebook too.I guess I show signs of the Facebook Syndrome when I say how much I yearn to have friends who would dedicate a Status,put up my pic with them,or just put up some quirky status for me....No no please don't do those now!

The point is,I am a terrible friend.I already said that,right? Going down the memory lane,I miss so many of my friends.Unfortunately am one of those silent sufferers who put up a facade of "Oh I don't care!" but deep down,the memories of a friendship haunt me,making me painfully miss my friends and those "good" times.

Have I tried to be in contact? Tried to plan some outing of sorts?Some get-together?Movie?Gossip session?I guess the answer is no.Sigh.

Maybe they don't even think about me.Oh,thats the harder part.To accept that they've moved on.How'll I go on about pulling them unwillingly to the days-that-were mode when they're like "Yeah it was.So?"

But I do remember birthdays.It's the wishing that I don't do.

Am behaving like a person out of a newly broken up relationship,ain't I?

Well,Friendship is important.To me at least.But unfortunately my vocal chords go on a holiday whenever I wish to express that "You're my friend! I always cherish your friendship!"

Oh well,time to move on for me too I guess.All this rant would do me no-good.

Wait a minute.Hey! That's an old friend of mine.She's sent a friend request! You think she remembered me,that's why send a request? Or just a random act of adding someone she knows?

That's anybody's guess!

Cheers...Have a happy month ahead!

Adjusting to adjustments

In every relationship, we need adjustments.No person is tailor-made for our nature and personality,because if its so,we would never learn and evolve.But then when does such adjustment become a problem?

They say "Take care of small things and the larger things will be taken care of".That's true.All big troubles begin from a small issue.Sometimes we adjust and don't let the issue become too big.Or sometimes we lose our temper and go on fighting.Something as small as "No,I can't do this work you gave me" can lead to a misunderstanding like "You don't care for me".

Personally,between me and my best friend,such fights happen a lot,inevitably because of me :-D.Yeah I admit,am a bit of a hot-head and immature. It's like I always feel "I do so much for her,she can't even come to the canteen with me".But then,for all the things she has done for me,she has had to bend (I mean metamorphic-ally).She's been there for me whenever (well,almost always) when I needed a friend.When she couldn't be there,God sent me someone else then :-).

I guess life would be simpler if we do try NOT to think.If you think,the problem starts to appear.I am happier now when am not thinking about balancing the equation with my friend.One of the verses from the Bhagwad Gita states that "We should do our work not just for the fruit(of the results)".So,if I stop pondering about who does what in the friendship,and just do whatever is in my capacity as a friend,I'll be happy.Isn't it?

Another point is that we often fail to accept the other person as he/she is.Like my best friend loves to be in a group of people (including me in the group too),while I would rather be alone with the person I like.That doesn't mean I hate the others! So sometimes my best friend abandons the big group to listen to my boring stuffs,while sometimes I join the gang and dance along :).It took me four years to actually accept the fact that my best friend loves being in a group:-D Before that it was always bitter fights and fights and fights....which eventually got sorted out when she would apologise :-D.

Its not just restricted to friendships.Parents adjust a lot for children.Its something that happens by default.If we don't budge for the other person,we're sure to lose him/her.What's wrong in adjusting anyway?If we do feel we're the only one adjusting always then we can gently mention that openly.But then,one should also keep in mind how much the other person is doing for us too.Isn't it?

P.S: College is almost over.Exams from next week.Not even a month left of my college life.And am rewinding the events (and non-events) of the past four years,and my mistakes appear to me in 3D.:-D.*Sigh*

Cheers! Keep smiling (Do have a reason to smile though)

God And Me....again!

I was sitting alone on a bench one day,brooding over my fight with my best friend.I was so drowned in my thoughts,that I didn't notice that God was standing in front of me.

"Hello?Anyone there?",He asked,bending down to see my face,that was not really much watchable at that moment.

I looked up and said,"Oh,how come you're here,I didn't call you now."

A little ruffled at my statement,He said stiffly "Well,I was passing by,so thought of visiting you.So why there is this storm on your face?"

"Nothing,just had a fight with my friend."

"Oh,is that all?",He grinned,I glared.

"Yes.I said things to her I shouldn't have said"

"Oh,so its your big blabbering mouth again",He guffawed loudly,and I glared even more.

"Okay okay,stop glaring at me,I might melt.Hmm....so what now?Shedding tears or hurling abuses?"

"Hmm...neither.Am just thinking about my behavior."

"You humans are so peculiar....you make mistakes,hurt the other person,and then you repent.But I wonder how many of you really go and say Sorry sincerely !"

"Huh?I do say Sorry...that too sincerely!"

"What about this time?I don't think you've apologised to your friend till now.",He said,sitting down beside me.

"Yeah,I haven't yet.Maybe we'll be all right by tomorrow"

"But it doesn't hurt to say Sorry,my child.You apologise,then leave the decision to the other person whether or not she wants to accept your apology gracefully or reject it unkindly.Saying sorry doesn't really mean you go down one step down,it means you've grown up!"

"Hmm....I know all of that..but still...I only say Sorry all the time.Why should I?When will the other person realise that mistake is their's?"

"Ha ha ha! You're so silly.I have told you,you'll not lose any of your pride...rather your value increases.Try saying sorry to everyone you've hurt...and make their heart melt,and let their blessings reach you",He smiled...and I smiled too.

"All right,I'll go now,hope you and your friend do get back together again,so that you forget Me for sometime :-P."

As He got up,He stepped on my foot accidently.

"Watch out! Can't you see?!!!",I nearly screamed.By then,He had flown away.Huh,He didn't even say SORRY :|

P.S:
Hey people...am back again(Yeah right....my being back implies I'll be absent from the blog for a fortnight :P)
I was busy with the Group Dance thing for the Culturals(Our Department got the 3rd place :P)....so was tired,hopeless,hopeful,energetic,happy,sad,doubtful,confident etc etc at the same time.

And don't worry,as such there is no great problem between me and my best friend....but I was just brooding over how a simple Sorry can halt so many arguments!

Need for Space in any relationship

In any relationship,there is a "you" and there is a "me".They clash,sometimes "You" dominating over "Me" or "Me" dominating over "You".In either case,it leads to unhappiness,pain and all sorts of negative emotions.

Some people may argue that when you're comfortable in a relationship,such problems are rare.That means either they've submitted themselves to being bossed around or vice versa.Its human tendency to try to gain command or to follow command.Its very very difficult to strike a balance.And its also very difficult to understand and respect the other person's point of view.

Even the closest of friendship will have such barriers.Its unavoidable.As we've all studied in our Science lessons at school,the ideal conditions don't actually exist.So rather than thinking the clashes will cease for themselves,we can of course try and think on the lines of the other person too.

Apart from such clashes,we also need to respect the other person's lifestyle or habits.Even the closest of friends who're supposed to have shared everything,may want to hold back something;not because they wish to hide something about their lives but because for their friendship,it may be unimportant.

Many times,we unknowingly hurt the other person by charging into the their life.You can get close to a person,not own them.Of course,we might do so with good intentions,but we're actually strangulating the other person's wishes and thoughts.Doing so,we might lose that person altogether!

So you see,everyone needs space.It takes a lot of effort to accept the fact that the other person has his or her own ambitions,habits,lifestyle,thoughts,reactions,actions et cetra.We have to trust them to remember us even when they're happy in their space.Can we manage to so do?

Cheers....Have a Happy Week ahead!!!!!!!
:-) :-) :-)

For a friend whom I haven't understood...

Walking through the streets of my thoughts,
I chanced upon a window,
I didn't recognise it at first,
but then I realised it was your world.

It was peculiar,

to see your world so close,

it was exciting,

more so because it had different rules.

There were lightnings on a sunny day,

rivers flowing up the mountains,

animals that talked,birds that sang,

but surprisingly less humans,.

Everyone went their own way,

nobody disturbed the other,

the temperature soared when you were angry,

and it froze when you were lonely.

There were many deserts,

where it showed your hurt,

there were rains too,

when you were cared for.

Strangely,there were no doors for your world,

only a window or two,

it was so beautiful inside,

I envied those who were welcome in there.

I tried to find a way,

but the window didn't open,

maybe I didn't open it the right way,

or maybe I was at the wrong window...

P.S.:

Am back from home!!! :-) :-)

Anyways,the above poem is for a friend of mine who's a bit of a loner,who doesn't know why the world is indifferent to him,and what is wrong(with him or the world).:-P

Cheers!!

Have a happy week ahead!!! :-)

All I need is....You

I never said,I never expressed,
Every emotion I suppressed,
I tried to show I can live without you,
But all I need is you...

I turn away from you,not wanting to look into your eyes,
They can see that I am telling you lies,
I laugh,I smile,I seem happy to every person I am talking to,
But deep down inside,all I need is you....

I hate it when you say you love me,
I hate it when you say our friendship is for eternity,
I was proud as I thought I needed no one to see life through,
But now I say,all I need is you...

I don't want to see that you are worried for me,
I don't want you to know what you mean to me,
Its all pride, and its all ego,
But put them aside,all I need is you...

I hate you when you don't listen,
I hate you when you don't say anything,
I hate you when you say the only person who knows everything about me is you...
But,I need you.

Don't be hurt by my silence,I am a wounded soul,
Don't try to heal me,I would strike back with words too hurtful,
Don't push me to be smiling forcefully when instead tears would flow
Just keep this in mind,I need you....

Its all about being friends!

My cellphone beeped for the fifth time...and there it was...a message from my Best Friend.
"How are you now?"
No I am not ill presently;I wasn't well yesterday.But,you see,my friend asked me this question 3 times,and to top it all,sent me 2 forwards about friendships and stuffs...for which I was supposed to send a reply.Since I consider myself too intellectual to be replying to silly forwards,I never really respond to her "Tell this about me" or "What you like the most about me".But even after getting such a cold response for something she considers sacred,she still cares.She still messages after a heated arguement,still listens when I have cursed her with all my vocabulary,and she still never gives up when someone else would have got frightened and ran away.
Its like this only for some people,you know,that you can show your anger to,can cry in front of them,can tell your little secrets,fight and still be back together.
They say love is the ultimate thing which involves a great mixture of all emotions-anger,despair,hope,happiness,sadness and so on.I don't think so.It starts from friendship itself.Like you and your "someone special" would have been friends initially,ain't it?
Nope,I ain't SRK fan and I ain't definitely quoting the dialouge from "Kuch Kuch Hota hai" ("Pyaar dosti hai... :D").But still,friendship is pretty much the basis of love....in fact,friendship and love are inseparable.We love our friends,and our love is our best friend!(Phew!)
So I dedicate this little blog of mine to all my friends whom I have truly loved though never told.And 1 special mention to that best friend of mine-you know I never told you how much I care for you,but you should know(sounds cheeky?)
At times we tend to forget to tell our friends how much we care.So leaving behind your bitter-feelings(if any) and ego (again,if any)....just call up or message or just somehow let them know that you are still there for them...before "Someone Special" snatches them away from you! (Heehee)

Take care everyone..Have a nice time with your friends!