Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Loneliness.....and my 50th post!

Loneliness pains sometimes,
Often providing a shield,
Caring,protecting and gentle,
But deep inside,the wounds don't heal.....

Like the sea that stretches endlessly,
Like the uncaring fishes,
floating carelessly beneath its silky surface,
Loneliness never ceases...its the wall between you and others....

Words don't reach you,
Actions don't touch you,
Others don't exist in this lonely land,
There's just loneliness that's with you....

Hope is a distant emotion,
Nothing seems worthwhile,
Its just indifference all around,
Like there's some disconnection from the world...

For some,loneliness gives way to creative madness,
Opening a new world of fantasy,
For others,its like insanity,
With silent screams,wanting to be heard....

The heart grows cold,
Untouched for such a long time,
Mind is numbed,not wanting to be disturbed,
Like its sleeping all the while....

When it does wake,realization of a snapped bond emerges,
A raw cry erupts,slowly building up in intensity,
The desperation feels like someone is tearing apart your nerves,
You want to be heard,but all you hear is the soft giggle of loneliness....
*                                                        *                                                        *
Hey people! Its my 50th post ! Yippeee!
Thank God I finished my 50th post before my blog became a year old :P
Hope I reach more such milestones with the help and support of all my regular readers!(And also those whom I threaten and bully to read my blog :P)

Have a happy week ahead! :)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Faith and......patience?

Yesterday,the juniors(3rd year and 2nd year students) gave the farewell party to the Final Year students(in hostel;from 9pm to 3am :P).
Of course,the atmosphere was very emotional,but since everyone had been shouting and screaming and cheering like mad when anyone danced or sang ,our throats were more drier than the deserts of Africa.(and our water-bottles were thirsty too!)

So,yours truly went and stood in front of the water cooler(our source for edible water :P) with a few bottles,not aware that the water cooler had taken leave for the day.(we'd forgotten to fill our water-bottles beforehand,hence this calamity of water-shortage).

Okay,big deal,I'll go and fill the bottles from other floor.
From fourth floor,down we(me and my roomie) went to third floor.Same story.Then to second floor.Yippee! At least this water cooler gave some water drops! But unfortunately the water cooler gave up its life on seeing us advancing towards it.

Now we climbed up and up till 5th floor.
Me: Dear God,if you really exist,prove your existence now! Please make some water available!
No reaction from water cooler.Huh! So much for my prayer.

Now to 6th floor
Me: Dear God,please...you help people in need...me and my roomies need water.Please.At least if not for me,let my roomies fill the water-bottles,I'll drink water from that!
No reaction again.So much for my drama.

Now we were completely exhausted,hence we just somehow reached our room,threw our bottles,and dozed off...still thirsty.

Later in the morning,I overheard one final year and one 3rd year students talking in the lift.
3rd year akka(didi,or elder sister):We were all so thirsty akka....no water in the water cooler at night!
Final year akka: Hey you know what? I was trying to wake you up so that you can have some water! The water cooler had started working in a few moments!

I was,as usual,caught in a positon where I didn't know what to think.I could hear someone giggling somewhere.....

Cheers...Hope you all have a happy week ahead! :)

Friday, March 26, 2010

Science and Life...?

In my standard 12th in school,I had learned about Carbon and how many functional groups are present because of it (blah blah blah).In that,I read a concept about how the carbon-chain expands.It goes something like this:

Suppose there are two carbon chains(Or Something Like That,OSLT) and they are supposed to be combined(OSLT)...then suppose the carbon chain 1 fits exactly in the lattice of carbon chain 2,then the whole chain now attains stability and its energy gets reduced.(Energy is inversely proportional to stability).
But suppose the Carbon Chain 1 doesn't fit in the manner(OSLT) but fits as in below,then there is an increased instability and more release in energy.

{The red dots indicate Carbons and dotted lines indicate forces of attraction.}

So whats this got to do with our lives...?

Our lives are like these carbon chains.Not always we get people whom we get along with..right? If all the people we meet were our friends,would we ever treasure them? No!

But like in the second case,we get people who hurt us,who decrease our mind's stability(peace) and make our blood pressures shoot up! Such people make us realise the goodness of the nice people,who are so nice to us...and who give us hope that there are good people too! :)

So,this unstability leads us to find more friends,rather be un-energetic and stabilise...if that happens,there'll be no more reactions...or you can say life won't go on! :(

Hmm....I think this much philosophy is enough for you all,for now :P

Cheers! Have a happy weekend! :)

Sorry for the clumsy drawing...but it was like an Eureka moment when I thought of all this and so drew it all in a hurry :P

By the way,you all are free to express your perceptions about this concept :)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Just a face?

On my way to college,while waiting for the bus,
I see a woman,neatly dressed.always carrying a little purse,
There is nothing striking about her,except her face,
Which is something extraordinary in so many ways....

Her eyes shine with serene kindness,
Her lips set in a stubborn line of firmness,
Her nose so sharp like it detects all flaws,
No wonder,I always stare at her in awe...

Nothing is disturbed about her,
Like perfection cannot be improved further,
Her presence gives a strange assurance,
Everyone I see nearby have only respect for her...

Whenever she doesn't come,my day has lesser cheer,
Like my inspiration has scuttered away somewhere,
I don't know who she is or where she lives,
No words are ever shared,a pleasant smile is all she gives....

*                                          *                                                         *

Sometimes,some unknown faces remain in our memories,although we might not really know about them.Maybe it could've been because of a distant resemblance to someone,their voice,or the way they walked.
While going to school,I used to see one woman who would be on her way for a morning walk.Something about her used to make me stare at her;(she had a prominent face).Gradually,she also started to smile at me,and thus our smile-acquintance began.What happened next?Well,my father got transferred to another place.:P

Although my poem is a piece of imagination,but still,I guess there must be some unknown person whose face you still remember...for any matter.Maybe they helped you in some way,or you both travel in the same bus each day....could be anyone.So is there?Do tell me if you've felt so drawn by an unknown face.:)

Have a nice week ahead! :)

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Its so painful !

Strapped like a prisoner,I sat still on the chair,
Fear tearing my heart into pieces,
My heart beat loud enough for everyone to hear,
But all I could do was pray....

A needle pricked somewhere in my body,
Then there was just numbness,
My vision darkened,my head felt light,
And I slowly drifted into drowsiness....

Someone was standing nearby,
Saying something I didn't understand,
From head to toe,he was dressed in white,
And I felt I had reached heaven....

Blood appeared in my mouth,
All salty and thick,
I felt my end is here,
When again,another needle pricked....

Like a video being rewound,
The darkness gradually eased and my vision cleared,
I turned when suddenly I heard a sound,
"Its okay now! Your bad tooth has been removed.."


P.S: Hi people!
First of all our department(Electrical and Electronics Engineering) won the first place in the Cultural Programs of our college! Yippeeee! :)
Although I didn't contribute much to anything,still,I cheered like mad,till my throat went hoarse! :P

Secondly,I really have never had a tooth removed...but just had a "root canal" done once.:P

Have a happy week ahead! :)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Can life pause for a minute please??

"No dear,you don't have the required grace for the dance we need for cultural programs.Please don't mind,but we can't select you for dance".The lecturer ma'am looked so sorry to see me go,as if she knew me by my name.I smiled a deadly smile.That doesn't mean was smile was beautiful.It means I wished she was dead.

Huh.I am depressed.Yes.I have a great interest in dance.And since childhood my name has been associated with only one extracurricular activity-dance.And now in college this lady who herself doesn't know how to dance is telling me I lack the grace???

To top it all,like adding salts to the wound,my room-mate akka(didi) has got a chance to compete in the program.That is tomorrow.I am so jealous.Urgh!

I am feeling worst about myself currently.My confidence has punctured.Come to think of it,my confidence nowadays mostly remains low.Its not only because of dance or something.Nothing I do pleases me,my thoughts are going haywire.But life is rushing on!

Can't it pause for a minute?There is so much in my head going on....I can't think anything right! Maybe thats why I have been absent from my own blog.Not that many people would've missed me anyway.

Theres so many things I want to tell.So many poems,articles,feelings etc etc..but somehow they aren't just flowing out of my head.They are stuck in some thought pipe.

And is there any right way of doing something? I am tired of people telling me that whatever I am thinking is wrong wrong wrong.To hell with everyone else.I think only this way.I can't change myself.

They say everything happens for the good,have patience.I am still waiting.

The purpose of this post was nothing great.Its just some venting out of pent up emotions.

Have a happy week and weekend.