Saturday, August 17, 2013

Life after marriage

Before you jump into any conclusions regarding the title,let me assure you that yes,its meant purely for seeking attention and no, I haven't got married yet. 

Marriage is an important phase of our lives. Specially in India,where marriage is one big occasion and much hullabaloo surrounds it,marriage ceases to remain what it actually is- bonding of two people.Its so complex that everyone has just accepted it in its current and simple forms-rituals,gifts,the expectations from the bride/groom, and in some cases,dowry.But look beyond that,its just the lifelong sharing of companionship for two people,bonded in friendship and complete acceptance of each other.But is it always really just the two people?

I am digressing from what I intend to share.And that is about marriage.Not mine; but my brother's.

Am sure I'll be too happy when he gets married to whoever he likes.And thats around a year or so away,or maybe more.Just a year or so away.

I was talking to my mother about my...well...apprehensions.My brother getting married? That means he'll no longer tease me or make fun of me or irritate me? No more physical fights (OK don't worry,those are mild ones)? No more fighting about who would be driving the car? No more passing around food items to him since I can't eat more of it?No more fighting for the TV? No more laughing together at silly things?No more of his grave advices which I don't understand at all?No more verbal altercations?

My mom was surprised as I kept on asking more of such irrelevant questions.And she didn't really know how to tackle them.All she said was "We're sharing it all with a new family member na?Why are you worrying?"

I still wasn't convinced.Then my mom said "Imagine in future your husband has a sister and she also thinks like you do now,won't you be hurt?"

Of course,since my brother would be getting married first I hadn't thought about my own marriage.But that got me thinking.She had a point.

And after lots and lots of thinking,I got to understand one cliche .Nothing is life remains as it is.Niether the tangible things like house,cars or mementoes nor the intangible ones like relationships,phases and memories.All I have to do is cherish the memories,not bind it with me or try to recreate the same.It can't be done at all :)

So,I guess I should welcome the new bride (whoever he chooses),and make her feel at home in our eccentric but loving family.

I hopped upon happily with this thought,till my brother pulled my plait.

And then,a fight ensued.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

God and about inequality!

"I hate you God",I grumbled.

"What's your complaint now?",God asked lightly,enjoying His cold coffee topped with chocolate ice cream.

"Why did you create women to serve men? Can't it be other way round? Don't women have any identity?Don't women deserve some care and respect?"

"What? When did I say women are born to serve men?",He asked,mildly surprised but still not leaving His cold coffee.

"The scriptures say so.Some sage has said that that's how God willed the Earth to be.With men being in command and women feeling lucky to be able to serve them.",I was almost fuming now,ready to pour out my temper.

"Hold on now,don't say like that.Let me just recollect about what happened millenia ago.....ya now I get it! Ha! See,I'll share this video with you,and you judge based on that about who did what,okay?",God handed me His super-phone to view the video.

Adam and Eve are resting in some garden.Adam turns to Eve and says "Hey! I don't think we can survive on fruits whole year.These take time to grow.I saw some funny looking white seeds that seems edible enough to eat.We'll try boiling them in water to clean them.I'll pick those up and we'll give it a try.What do you think?"

"You read my mind so well! I was going to seek your opinion about the same!"

Adam smiles,"Am so lucky to have you,you and I think on the same lines"

The next day,Adam is busy collecting the 'white seeds' and Eve fills water and boils it.Adam had to travel to and fro to the fields and back since he had no bag or sack to collect the white seeds.Meanwhile,Eve removed the chaffs as they seemed to taste bitter and but the seeds one by one onto the boiling water.

The seeds did seem edible but there was still some more exploration to be done.

Adam lay down beside Eve,tired, and asked her if she could massage his legs.Eve happily did it,after which a grateful Adam offered to massage Eve's neck which was aching after all the bending over the boiling water.

They found the correct way to cook rice,and taught that to their children too.

The clan grew and grew.It was established that the women will stay at home and cook,while the men bring in the raw materials.And women shall serve their partners while the men take rest.

The great-great-great-great-granddaughter of Adam and Eve once opined,"I want to go out hunting too"

Her brothers laughed,and told her to stay at home and cook.

"But why?"

"That's what your great-great-great grandmother did!",they replied in chorus.

I was still trying to get the meaning of the video,while God was happily licking off the cream from the glass.

"So what does this mean? Does that give you the right to write inscriptions that say women are nothing but servants for looking after home?"

God sighed."You spoiled the positive after effects of having a cold coffee.My dear Ms. Ignorant,did I write the inscriptions?"

"Well I guess you authorised some human to write",I said,feeling a little less confident.

"Then you see,thats how human beings are.They don't want to change.They like the order that has been set for them since ages to remain intact.They don't like confrontations.They don't like to try something new with each generation.They don't want to do anything else!"

"But then what is the difference between humans and donkeys?",I asked,confused.

God grinned."It's not enough to be born human.You have to prove that you are one!"

And He went off to get a blackcurrant milkshake.

No disregard or disrespect towards Adam and Eve.Or donkeys.Just a tiny attempt at trying to reconstruct the events based on my thoughts.
We don't know if it's right when we say women have been made to serve men since time immemorial.It can be that as the society 'progressed',the relationship between men and women became unequal,creating more of a Master and Slave,instead of having love and respect.
So let me assume that it all started fine,but somewhere in the middle,it got tangled into the monotonicity of "the tried and tested" scenario.

Do think about it once :)

Cheers! Have a happy week ahead!

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Taking care of a place called home!!!

My to-do list these days include:
1.Buy milk
2.Buy vegetables
3.Buy dals
4.Pay bills
5.Empty the dustbin
6.Cook (!!!!)
7.Wash utensils
8.Cook lunch for office
9.Wash clothes
10.Switch off lights before going out

No,I am not married yet (Thank you for your well-intentioned guesses that I seem to have got married).I am living in a rented apartment which somehow transformed me from a carefree girl to a always-thinking-about-what-to-cook home-maker.

Yes,I am now a home-maker without being married.I know loads and loads of girls and woman lead such life,then what is so special about me living like this? Well nothing actually.But still,its kinda different ;)

Now my day starts with the thought for what I'll cook for lunch-actually the thought starts appearing since night,before going to bed and I get dreams about me cooking up exotic dishes for lunch! Then much of the times in office I am asked "So,what did you cook today?",with some well-meaning suggestions and advices thrown in between.In fact,once when I recounted to a colleague of mine how I forgot to add onions to my Sambar and next time forgot about the dal,she(who will be getting married in a few months),got an "insight" into the life of an early-morning-lunch-box-making young girl(and her silence indicated she's a bit apprehensive about her life post marriage :-D)

I now realise how tough it is for my mom (not just mine,but for everyone's moms)to cook and keep the home tidy and handle our tantrums and et all.Sorry mom...I won't ever pester you to make my favourite dishes the next time I am home,I'll eat whatever you cook (which would inevitably be my favourite dishes ;) )

Sometimes this freedom is exhilarating.You can cook your favourite dishes (Am I ranting too much about food??),you can throw around your things anywhere and you'll learn to be independent(Yeah,now I know whom to call when I spot a cockroach or centipede!)

On the downside,you would inevitably feel lonely(because walls have ears,not a mouth),after a hard day at work you'd wish someone would be there at home who'd take care of the dishes lying in the kitchen sink,that the dust and dirt wouldn't dance around beneath your feet,that all you got to do is come home,eat,and sleep,that you don't need to go by yourself each time the groceries reach a danger mark,and that the only other thing that talks in your home is not the TV!


Circumstances(and mostly my adamant opinions and thoughts) have brought me here.Lets see where life takes me from here.Any guesses? (Please don't start about what a wonderful wife I'll be blah blah blah....I have an overdose of that talk!)

If you have any suggestions/recipes for easy cooking(vegetarian, please) do drop in your comments ;)
Cheers! Have a great weekend :)

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Why NO to learning new languages?

Recently,I was looking over the comments section of a forum wherein the discussion was about "How to stop people from using regional language in Meetings?".From just meetings,the discussion drifted to Hindi speaking vs Non-Hindi speaking people.There were people who were giving out statements like "Why should we learn Hindi?".That got me thinking.

What's so bad about learning Hindi? A lot of states speak that language.A lot of languages have words similar to those in Hindi.Don't believe me?

Tu kasa aala?
Tum kaise aaye?/Tu kaise aaya?
How did you come?
That's Marathi.

Tumar Naam Ki?
Tumhara naam kya hai?
What is your name?
That's Assamese.

Tume mo sahita asiba ki?
Tum mere saath aayoge kya?
Will you come with me?
Thats Oriya.

Tussi ki kitta?
Tumne kya kiya?
What did you do?
That's Punjabi

For all those familiar with Hindi would realise that the words are similar and can be derived 
from Hindi,to some extent at least.
Now lets get to Non-Hindi derived languages.

Unga peru enna?
What is your name?
Thats Tamil

Ninte perentaanu?#
What is your name?
Thats Malayalam
#(Sounds familar to Tamil's peru which means Name)

Avashyavaghi* koduthene
Yes of course.
That's Kannada
*(Sounds similar to Hindi's Avashya,which means the same as the meaning mentioned here)

Idhi javaabu**
It is the answer/This is the answer
That's Telugu
**(Sounds similar to Tamil's Idhu which means "this" and Hindi's Jawaab)

So you see,if we learn one North Indian language,and one South Indian language,am sure we'll be able to understand and grasp other languages more easily.After all,in this age of migration and all that,we don't want to lose out on opportunities just because of few sound movements which our tongue favours!We're ready to learn French and Japanese,right? Then why not a language nearer?From our own Country?(I know that sounds a cliched excuse.Oh well,there must be some iota of truth in it maybe ;) )

What else is language anyway? Its just a medium of communication.It won't do anyone harm if we try to learn one or two more.Its not about forcing anyone to learn.Its just being sensible :)

P.S: I am not a language expert,nor I know most of the Indian languages.But these are the very few similarities that I could find between different languages.When the languages themselves have an invisible connection amongst themselves,then what are we fighting about? :)
And also,I just picked out the examples which I thought could best support this post.And am sincerely sorry to any mistakes (I copied from online),and am sorry if anyone's sentiments were hurt (though I wonder why they should be hurt anyway?)

Cheers...Have a Happiiiieeeeeeee Week Ahead ! :)

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

And I thought men and women were equal

Shahrukh Khan says declares virtuously in a tea ad "From now,the actress name will appear before mine in my upcoming films."

It makes me wonder,how doing that will increase the respect for women anywhere?

Why couldn't the ad instead say "From now,the names of actress and actor will appear together".

Each day on facebook we see posts that portray women as great demi-gods,sacrificing machines,those with unconditional love...everything angelic but not humans.

Why can't we instead focus on being equals,neither great nor worse.After all,there are only two types of human beings- Man and Woman.Yes,there are biological differences,but if there is an equality instead of fight for superiority,much of the conflict would be resolved.

What do you think?

P.S: I guess this is my shortest post ever.

The line between equality and bias is sometimes too bleak to be noticed.What becomes "Equality" for one becomes "Bias" for another.After all,it's not that men are just unemotional,feelingless creatures.They have feelings too.

Monday, March 4, 2013

In the name of God

"What is religion?" I asked God,who was sitting beside me trying to work on his new smart phone.

"Huh..?What?",God asked back,His eyes still glued to the touch screen.

"Can you put that phone down and answer my question?I asked what is religion." I said,getting irritated.

"Well,religion is a way of life",He smiled as if He had given a very intelligent answer.

"I know that quote,thank you very much.But what is religion?"

He sighed."Why do I have to endure your questions and accusations everytime! All right,let me give an example.You have been to school,right?".At this,I glared angrily.

"OK OK! Just joking! What do you remember about school? Don't tell me answers like sharing lunchboxes,not doing homework,punishments,scores et cetra.Just give the physical stuffs you remember about school.Something that helped people know you're in school".

"Oh that must be the Uniform!",I answered thoughtfully.

"Exactly.Now the uniform serves not much of a purpose except telling you which school you belong to,and that everyone in the school is equal.Religion does the same.It just tells others what food you eat,what time you remember Me in the day, how you go about your daily chores everyday,and how you celebrate some victory."

"Oh is that all? Then why did you make those sacred texts,those religious bhajans,slokas,hyms,and prayers?And what about the customs,and traditions?" I asked accusingly.

He laughed."Oh yeah I do know all the languages,but seriously,those texts were just opinions on how to reach Me.I know all that sounds complex,but its very simple actually.Be good,do good,think good,and you'll find the way to reach me".He smiled merrily.

"Then why do people kill each other in the name of God?",I asked,wide eyed,almost knowing the answer yet feeling afraid.

He kept silent for sometime,and then,in a low voice,said "I didn't make religion.I don't care if you pray to me early morning,afternoon,or even midnight.I don't care much if you keep your forehead barren or keep it colourful,I don't care if you think of me silently or if you pour tons of milk over my idol.All I care for is,if you're doing good to others.Being good doesn't mean you donate some money to charity and then think I'll be happy.No! A kind word,gesture,an unexpected help,a loyal word,acceptance-that is what makes me happy.Not mere hymns and prayers.And yet humans think one's way of life is superior to other! Bah! It doesn't matter at all.Did you concentrate on your school uniform while sitting in class?No.You must have just thought about your friends,classes,subjects,exams scores and all that.But see now?People kill each other for their way of life." He looked hurt.

"Ooh okay.Don't be upset!Am sure the new generation with people like me will not fight over each others' way of life",I smiled at Him.

"Yeah,I hope so",He smiled too.

"So,what were you doing with your new Smart Phone?",I changed the topic.

"Was searching for some bhajans on the phone's internet",He said,turning His gaze back to the touch screen.

I stared at him.

"What?Can't I listen to people praising about me? You know,am quite upset right now." He feigned a hurt expression.

Sigh.In the name of God!

For all those who despise other people's religion,look into your own and you'll find flaws in yours too.
Let us not fight in the name of God,because even though we all belong to some religion/sect/groups,no too people will have the same way of doing their day-to-day work.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Truth is stranger than fiction

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 37; the thirty-seventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "Truth is stranger than fiction"
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"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities,Truth isn't".
-Mark Twain

The truth always has this effect on people-it leaves us numb,with a strange sense of resignment,an inexplicable sense of peace,and an inevitable acceptance of destiny.

Our lives,when we look at it from the outside,seems quite good.Family,friends,work,plans,achievements and et all.But when you scratch the surface and look deeper,what we find is a sense of purposelessness.

I am not too religious,rather am more philosophical.And yet,I realise why Krishna's sermon in Mahabharata,which is the Bhagvad Gita, is called the Ultimate Truth-because there is one and only.I don't intend to promote Hinduism,as will be apparent from my other posts in my blog,but I would just tell you what I or anyone who has read a few chapters in the book would feel-its distressing.Seriously.You open a book and read that whatever you've done in your life is a sin,and that your existence is just a speck in this whole big sea called universe,then of course you're bound to feel upset! And this when I've just read a few pages :)

Unfortunately you can't really deny the whole concept at all,there is something convincing about it that you accept whatever is written (well,at least to some extent).

Our whole life is a fiction.The truth of it all comes when we lie on our deathbed,and at that time we can't fool anyone.We'll realise whatever we've done in this world,someone else would've also done it.Its like in a novel you replace a character with another one.Life moves on.People'll forget us,forget our existence.And all that remains constant is the truth of it all that everyone will face at a point of time.

So lets take into consideration whatever I've said and analyse our lives-why are we so restless? Why give so much importance to something that won't remain forever,like our name,job,money,fame etc.?
People kill infant girls because they want a son to take their family name forward.Why?For what?We can be more positive and have a happy,peaceful world,right?

We fail to give a much needed kind word,forgive someone,keep a grudge all our lives.

Let us try to erase the line between the truth and fiction in our lives.No,that doesn't mean I am suggesting we become another monk who solds his/her Ferrari,but we can try to be reduce our illusions.

More compassion,more empathy,more kindness and more patience.Imagine if all of us shed our fictitious identities,realise that deep down,all of us have the same end,then maybe we all can hope for a peaceful world?

Of course,the truth will remain the same,yet when we die,we can think of all the happy times and die peacefully :)

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: Pawan Maruvada, Participation Count: 3
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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Women - Burden or Backbone?

Entry for the blog contest :

I still remember a lesson in my Hindi syllabus ,when I in class 7th,which was titled 'Ladki'(Girl).Its the story of how the author comes across a household,where the daughter is ill-treated while the son is pampered endlessly.And all that the girl has to offer in answer for the question as to why she suffers without questioning why,is this line-"Ladki hoon na" (After all,I am a girl)

I wondered about how the girl has been conditioned to think (even though only in fiction) about how worthless she is just by being a girl.They grow up to think that they can't have their own wishes,desires,hopes,dreams because they're not even humans-just burden that has to be passed on from one authority to another.

Are women really a burden? They bind together a family,take care of everyone (blame the motherly hormones for that!) and all they recieve is disrespect? A tag of being a burden?

Its a cliche thats repeated often that women continue to remain daughters,while sons become husbands after marriage.Emotional stability (because women are more comfortable with displaying emotions),being a bread-winner when needed,protective-and yet a burden?

The girl in the story helped her mother,father and her arrogant brother with any and everything.And yet she was never once spoken to with a kind word by her mother.It would have been interesting to see how after growing up,the son would have taken up the responsibility of looking after the parents.

Women are working now,earning as much as their husbands,managing finances at home,managing kids...and yet when some of them look back to see how they were treated,its not respect for all this that they get.Instead,its the jeers about marriage-the expenditure they are causing,how she's lucky to have found a husband despite being educated,how her parents are worried about it all- is that all their life about?

Even though women have scaled heights,there are still families that are crestfallen when the nurse announces its a girl.

Are women a burden? Look at your mother,sister, or anyone who helps you around.You'll know the answer.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

The craze for dance

Dance.Like no one is watching,like no one cares how you should be,like they're all in sync to your energy waves,like they connect to you that instant,like you feel you'll die this very moment,feeling your body gradually giving up to something out-of-this-world.

I love dancing.Although if my friends in school hear me telling this,they'd be surprised.I mean,if I love dancing,and consider myself as a "good" dancer,I should've gotten some prizes and all,right? But naah,that is not the case.In fact,I am so mad about dancing that I lose myself completely,in the process making a complete fool of myself in public.

I wonder how can anyone not really want to dance? When the music pumps up,your heart thumps on your chest,in rhythm with the surroundings,some strange happiness and excitement flowing in your blood,reaching out to your hands and legs, and it just overpowers you,letting you free,giving you a strange sense of elation.And that elation,is tiring.Trust me,at each step you shove your hands and move your legs,you'll feel you're throwing some part of you around,and nothing else is on your mind.Just you,your body,the music,and the happiness.Nothing else matters.

Oh well,this is a random musing of my random thoughts.So,lets get to the updates now:
1. Happy New Year 2013 everyone! (Yeah,this is my first post this year :D)
2.Thank you for all the Belated Birthday Wishes you'll post on my comment box (My Birthday was on 12th Feb :D )
3.No other update as of in well and hope you are all in the same well :D

Cheers,have a Happy Weekend ahead! ;)

I'll be back