In every relationship, we need adjustments.No person is tailor-made for our nature and personality,because if its so,we would never learn and evolve.But then when does such adjustment become a problem?
They say "Take care of small things and the larger things will be taken care of".That's true.All big troubles begin from a small issue.Sometimes we adjust and don't let the issue become too big.Or sometimes we lose our temper and go on fighting.Something as small as "No,I can't do this work you gave me" can lead to a misunderstanding like "You don't care for me".
Personally,between me and my best friend,such fights happen a lot,inevitably because of me :-D.Yeah I admit,am a bit of a hot-head and immature. It's like I always feel "I do so much for her,she can't even come to the canteen with me".But then,for all the things she has done for me,she has had to bend (I mean metamorphic-ally).She's been there for me whenever (well,almost always) when I needed a friend.When she couldn't be there,God sent me someone else then :-).
I guess life would be simpler if we do try NOT to think.If you think,the problem starts to appear.I am happier now when am not thinking about balancing the equation with my friend.One of the verses from the Bhagwad Gita states that "We should do our work not just for the fruit(of the results)".So,if I stop pondering about who does what in the friendship,and just do whatever is in my capacity as a friend,I'll be happy.Isn't it?
Another point is that we often fail to accept the other person as he/she is.Like my best friend loves to be in a group of people (including me in the group too),while I would rather be alone with the person I like.That doesn't mean I hate the others! So sometimes my best friend abandons the big group to listen to my boring stuffs,while sometimes I join the gang and dance along :).It took me four years to actually accept the fact that my best friend loves being in a group:-D Before that it was always bitter fights and fights and fights....which eventually got sorted out when she would apologise :-D.
Its not just restricted to friendships.Parents adjust a lot for children.Its something that happens by default.If we don't budge for the other person,we're sure to lose him/her.What's wrong in adjusting anyway?If we do feel we're the only one adjusting always then we can gently mention that openly.But then,one should also keep in mind how much the other person is doing for us too.Isn't it?
P.S: College is almost over.Exams from next week.Not even a month left of my college life.And am rewinding the events (and non-events) of the past four years,and my mistakes appear to me in 3D.:-D.*Sigh*
Cheers! Keep smiling (Do have a reason to smile though)
They say "Take care of small things and the larger things will be taken care of".That's true.All big troubles begin from a small issue.Sometimes we adjust and don't let the issue become too big.Or sometimes we lose our temper and go on fighting.Something as small as "No,I can't do this work you gave me" can lead to a misunderstanding like "You don't care for me".
Personally,between me and my best friend,such fights happen a lot,inevitably because of me :-D.Yeah I admit,am a bit of a hot-head and immature. It's like I always feel "I do so much for her,she can't even come to the canteen with me".But then,for all the things she has done for me,she has had to bend (I mean metamorphic-ally).She's been there for me whenever (well,almost always) when I needed a friend.When she couldn't be there,God sent me someone else then :-).
I guess life would be simpler if we do try NOT to think.If you think,the problem starts to appear.I am happier now when am not thinking about balancing the equation with my friend.One of the verses from the Bhagwad Gita states that "We should do our work not just for the fruit(of the results)".So,if I stop pondering about who does what in the friendship,and just do whatever is in my capacity as a friend,I'll be happy.Isn't it?
Another point is that we often fail to accept the other person as he/she is.Like my best friend loves to be in a group of people (including me in the group too),while I would rather be alone with the person I like.That doesn't mean I hate the others! So sometimes my best friend abandons the big group to listen to my boring stuffs,while sometimes I join the gang and dance along :).It took me four years to actually accept the fact that my best friend loves being in a group:-D Before that it was always bitter fights and fights and fights....which eventually got sorted out when she would apologise :-D.
Its not just restricted to friendships.Parents adjust a lot for children.Its something that happens by default.If we don't budge for the other person,we're sure to lose him/her.What's wrong in adjusting anyway?If we do feel we're the only one adjusting always then we can gently mention that openly.But then,one should also keep in mind how much the other person is doing for us too.Isn't it?
P.S: College is almost over.Exams from next week.Not even a month left of my college life.And am rewinding the events (and non-events) of the past four years,and my mistakes appear to me in 3D.:-D.*Sigh*
Cheers! Keep smiling (Do have a reason to smile though)
College life .. oh yesssss I guess we all go through what you have described here. I use to think my friends dont like me or something, that if i dont meet up with them they will forget me ..
ReplyDeletebut 4 years of college and end of it we all knew how good we are for each other the friendships i had then are still very strong ...
brought some memories of college time ..
and I hope you learn from those mistakes that you say you see in 3D..
All the best with everything and take care
oh yes Keep smiling too.. you dont need a reason to smile do you .. smiling is goood :)
Bikram's
nice...one anu...i think evryone goes thru faces lie these or thoughts like these...ki 'whats in it for me'...but i guess if we just go abt ding wt we do..things will be a lot easier!! its easier said than done though!!
ReplyDelete@Bikram
ReplyDeleteThanx a lot :)...yeah am trying to learn from my mistakes :)
@Lavanya
Thank you :)
School/College life and friendship & misunderstandings are synonymous and go hand-in-hand. That's all because we always expect so much from the other person and cannot bear even if they slightly fall short of them... But they are like the foundation for any future relationships.Fun, love-hare relationships, betrayal, understanding, sacrificing - we will learn every bits of these! Enjoy these time!
ReplyDeleteDear Anu yesterday i met our ED and said one very good thing whenever u do something for someone never expect anything in return, it demeans everything. If u love and care someone always stick with them because u love that person and that its your responsibility to take care of your friend regardless of any courtesy. Kitna dusro ke liye jiyoge kitna compromise karoge, live like there is no 2mrw, take care of your friend. Sache friends buhut muskil se milte hain. Ask me what i have lost★:-)
ReplyDeletehow epic is that! Its good to be naive. Loved this. Guess im addicted to the words used. ;) big cheers dooode
ReplyDelete