Part 1 of God and Me:Part one
Part 2 of God and Me:Part two
"I hate you!" I paused,took a deep breath,and shouted again "I hate you!"
"Why do you always push me into self-doubt? Can't you make me do something miraculous so that I can stop being so harsh on myself?And what are you doing? Giving me task after task that just blast my wall of confidence! Urgh! I just hate you!"
Lying on my bed,with nothing much to do,this is what I was doing one afternoon-blaming God.
As always,whenever I request Him to come and help me,He won't move an inch.Only after my repeated chantings of "I hate you",did He finally raise an eyebrow.Now after days of repeatedly saying "I hate you" He finally made an appearance.And where there is God,you can expect drama.
"Now what have I done? I am not sitting idle like you and brooding about what others have and I don't.I am a very busy person.I had sent you so many signs that things would be fine once you look inside you,but instead you look the other way and refuse to acknowledge my signs!"
Finally,He paused for some breath.I looked at Him indifferently and said "Over?Or some drama is still left?"
He rolled his eyes and gave a sigh,meaning His drama was over.It was my turn now.
"Can you tell me why you don't answer me when I am in the middle of a crisis?Why you don't even give me a handkerchief when I am crying?Why can't I feel your hand on my shoulder when I am so diffident?Why don't you send someone when I am so lonely? I always thought that you sent someone for me when I am lonely or in need of a friend.But nowadays,you don't care! You are putting so many pressures on me at the same time...I can't handle it anymore! Do you hear me? "
God was standing with His arms folded and lips drawn in a stubborn manner.
"Say something!" I nearly screamed.
"I don't give handkerchiefs,I only give solutions.If you want a God who gives handkerchiefs,then go and find another God."He turned to go.
I didn't move an inch.
Turning back to me,He said "You wont even stop me?".I said nothing,and was just staring at Him.I don't know whether it was my stare or whether he felt something for my plight but suddenly he softened and said in His Godly voice "Okay.I am not doing any more drama.But I'll tell you something.Would you listen?"
He took my silence as my Yes,so he continued,"Look child.I give you problems so that you come out of those as a matured person.I send people who don't listen to you to test your patience,I send irritating people to test your anger,I break friendships so that you learn how to love others no matter what and appreciate the right people,I delay your success to test your determination.I send failures to you so that you know how to handle success.Yes I do it all purposely.Not to break you,but to mold you into the right person.So have patience,be calm,forgive others,have a big heart.Don't be sulky like you are now.I care for you.Thats why I send problems to you.Parents send their children to far off places to work or study,why?Only for their benefit.The separation is difficult,but its for the child's good.Isn't it?"
He smiled.And I...well...did feel like smiling,but my ego came in between.Then,God cleared his throat and said "Speaking of complaints,even I have a complaint too"
I expected him to tell me that I don't remember him much often,that I never tell him about good things,etc etc..but what he said,was this:
"Will you stop complaining repeatedly about your problems?I came down this time because I saw that my secretary was fed up with your repeated complaint letters.Just complaint once,my secretary has good memory and she would surely notify me about your complaint.In short,I am asking you to stop whining,start living!"
With that grumble,God turned around and vanished.
Suddenly,I remembered something,"Hey I have to ask you another question!!!!"
But God was gone by that time.Maybe to attend some conference on How To Handle Irritating People (like me).
Do post your comments while I post a few more complaints to God.
But hey,I am still in my thoughtful mood.About what God said.Thinking.Thinking.Thinking.Zzzzzzzz...........
Cheers! Have a Nice Week Ahead! :)