Sunday, August 16, 2009

Tears of RAGE

When I was small,I was known amongst many for my bad temper.I would beat up my classmates,I would throw things around,scream like a girl gone mad,break things,stop eating,slam doors and so on.

Of course,my parents used to have a tough time controlling me...because when I was in the "angry-mode",there was no stopping me.People used to try to quieten me saying "You are a girl,you should be tolerant and demure,not fierce and angry!Such tempers are bad for you",and that used to make me more angry.

I was of the notion that when one is angry,he or she should just vent it out.And thats what I did.

Eventually,I cooled down,though not too much.Nowadays when I am very very very angry,I just keep silent or cry.People think me I am weak and all,but theres no other way to control the destruction that would follow my temper.

But at times,I feel-without any reason-uncontrollable,each cell of my body screams to tear something apart,my hands are anxious to throw something,and my voice wants to come out of the lungs in ultrasonic waves and just scream.

And all this happening in the middle of a boring lecture in my college!

I can't cry,I can't scream,I can't bang my desk,I can't throw my notebook,I can't scream and run away from my class...although all these seem very much the better options!

Eventually,I feel tired,worn out,like I have been given an injection for my adrenalin to lessen.But I have to keep my head up through another class too...oh God!

And hence come out my poetry that you all have (not all) have read below this post.

After the classes,I just go to my room,and pretending to be asleep,I cry.I cry and try to sooth my bursting head,try to find what exactly caused this strange anger which starts as abruptly as it ends.And I get no answer.

When in earlier days,I used to read the term "Tears Of Rage",I never understood how any person can cry being angry! But,it happens.

The reason for my anger is not the lecturers (Although I would like to think so) nor my college.
And one more thing...I was born on the day of Shiv Ratri :P (HeeHee)


  1. vry touching.... i dont kno whether it has really happened or not.... but i kno the situation that a short temepered person faces... coz i am..... nowdays iam cooled... but things sumtimes are very irritating... and u burst out.... ne ways take care.. keep up with ur nice blogs.. as this one was another great one!!

  2. hey take care dear.. keep up with ur nice blogs...:) cool.. stay calm...:)

  3. do one thing...whenever you are it...would love to read u banging your head

    P.S| you are still small :P

  4. @FL
    in a way...yeah.thanx for the advice :P

    @yellow tulip
    thanx..yeah i m trying....trying :)

  5. Anu,

    i dont know what to say.. cheer up girl..and try to find the cause and undo it..


  6. hey i knw dt wenevr u r angry u behav in a strange manner and i knw hw it feels wen u r annoyd n u jst feel lyk screaming loudly........

  7. by d way keep up d gud work girl!!!!!

  8. oh..having aishu near u, u needn't hesitate to pour out ur anger rite;-) feel like banging ur head on the table?? bang hers;-):-P

  9. Hehehehe...Thanx for your advice :P

  10. haha.. very true thought.! but i cant believe tht u get angry?
    but i kno how irritatin it is to control emotions.!

  11. I am also a short tempered man..
    And often i suffer from this syndrome...
    It feels like hell.......
    You know its better to get it out of your system(anger)......
    Thats what i feel.....
    There are many ways of doing it....
    Yoga, Hitting some hard object wtc....
    he he he///
    yoga is better though.........

  12. yeah.. u r right yaar..!! i too experienced this.. when i can show my anger to nyone.. i will start crying.. i need to change this attitude..

  13. ya i know wat anger is?? me too...i know u pour out on some one rather than u keeping it inside ur heart and cool ..meditate as much....feel as if ur the luckiest in the world....

    ur can rock

  14. Anger is temporary madness, Anu. I liked the admission.

  15. I found a solution to decrease anger. Eat ! . yes . I used to eat a lot, especially when I am home. Thats the only place i care to not to show anger. Dont say that we r guys and u can do like that. But when i'm getting angry, my friends can easly understand that! I wondered how was that possible. They said I wont be talking as usual and I'll be very silent, and i dont listen to anybody. ! Cool friends


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