Monday, August 31, 2009

No forgivance

I raised my head to the sound of the doorbell ringing,
When the door opened,the cops were standing,
I knew why they had come at this time,
After all,it was me who had committed the crime.

The cops filed in slowly,
Looking around cautiously,
I kept my gaze low,
My guilt I didn't want to show.

They seemed to see me,but didn't react,
They went to the dreaded place where took place the criminal act,
Not a word was spoken,only nods and gazes,
The tension and pity showed on their faces...

It wouldn't have happened,this heinous murder,
If I hadn't been betrayed by my lover,
Or if I hadn't lost my job,
And if I hadn't lost all hopes..

It wouldn't have happened,if I had given love another chance,
Had believed in myself and taken a stance,
If only I would've been more productive,
The reason for the crime wouldn't have been that provocative..

The cops did their investigations,and I heard what they said,
"So young,this victim!" and for the peace of the deceased,they silently prayed,
But peace has since then left me,and my wrists are slit wide,
I wish I hadn't committed suicide....

16 comments:

  1. aahhhhh!!!
    Am completely moved by this! Splendid writing!!

    Lovely is what i have to say!!

    Btw,Check out my recent post re:)

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  2. wow..splendid.. now tht u hav written abt suicide y dont u write one abt death..

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  3. wow...too sadly beautiful dear..:)..excellent write up:)

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  4. @Shruti
    Thank you:)
    And I'll surely check your post and comment too! :)

    @ Vishnu
    Thank you:)
    Though I didn't understand what exactly you wanted me to write about

    @Yellow Tulip
    Thank you!! :)

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  5. Excellent.
    Reminds of of a poem written by me, which runs on the same lines!
    The last line was revealing and also entertaining!
    Good work! :D

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  6. sad, but meaningful writing.....
    "So young,this victim!" and for the peace of the deceased,they silently prayed,
    But peace has since then left me,and my wrists are slit wide,"

    These lines meant it all!!

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  7. Touching and excellently fantasised. Keep going.

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  8. @Pawan
    Would like to read that poem of yours

    @Athivas
    Thank you! :)

    @NS Iyer
    Thank you! :)

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  9. very interesting and last lines impact the reader

    Vivek

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  10. anu honestly i guessed the end at the start, i realised when i read first para. Very subtly written. I dont praise others that easy gal. Let me say you this one was one of the best i have seen. Loved the alliterations and rhyming words wonderfull !!

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  11. hey a very touching one... yet another touching and interesting poem!!!! ..

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  12. Hi :)
    Check out my blog!
    I have something for you!

    Keep smiling!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ghastly, but could relate to it :) :(.

    Highlight here I guess is you have made it simple for everybody to understand - and I liked the dash of irony at the end. (Unlike Venky, from whose blog I hopped on here, I could not guess the ending).

    Will return for more should time permit.

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete

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